Tips For The Holiday Packing Checklist

I have been fortunate enough to have had a number of holidays in my life and there is one thing that I have learned from all of them.   You need to pack for the holiday you are going to have, the real one.  Not the one in your head.

If you are anything like me, your ideal amount of time packing is 20-30 minutes.  Throw some things into a suitcase and done.  However, the problem with doing that is that you have not planned.  Which inevitably means, overpacking.

The devil is in the details (or the weight limit on your suitcase in this case).  I therefore use a few tips to stop overpacking and keep the weight under the limit.

Wear It, Don't Pack It

Shoes are always the thing that weights my suitcase down and takes me over the limit.  Repeat after me, you do not need as many shoes as you think.  

I tend to wear my "can wear day time or evening" sandals to the airport.  That means black, comfortable and classic.  The kind that goes with shorts, dresses, anything.  That is one pair of shoes you don't need to pack.  

Also, weather dependent, I also wear a pair of shorts, a tank top and also wear the cardigan that I always take in case I need it in the evenings.

Clothes

Go light on shorts and tops.  If you are going on a sunbathing holiday, you usually just end up throwing on a floaty dress/cover up over your swimwear when going for lunch and maybe a pair of shorts.  I wore two tops for the week last time I went on holiday.  I took seven.

Indulge in swimwear and floaty cover ups.  They take up zero room.  Room you will need for evening attire.  I am a dress person.  I wear dresses every day.  I am not a separates girl.  I take ten (yes I am going for seven days).   But you and I both know that you need more.   The heat, the amount of food you have snacked on, how you feel on the day; all mean that that dress you thought would be perfect, is now the last thing you want to wear.  Take more.

Underwear - pretty much standard.  Seven pair of knickers (or panties for you American readers) and three bras which you can wash through as needed.

Products

Take minis and commit to leaving the residue of them in the hotel room at the end.  These you also need to make a list for to avoid overpacking.   These can really take up space (and weight) in your suitcase and are always my downfall.  

The only full size items should be sun tan lotion and an after sun.  

Here is what I recommend for the mini products:

Shower gel, moisturiser, shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, hair heat protector spray, facial hydration spray (your skin will thank you), facial wash, make-up setting spray and micellar water.   Don't be tempted to just take make up wipes.  They are even worse for your skin in hot weather.  Also, something to wash your clothes (swimsuit, bras).  

Before you put them in your suitcase, commit to removing things.   You don't need an exfoliator.  You won't use it.  I promise.  Also, no hair oil.  You won't use it and you can guarantee that will be the thing that leaks over everything,

Be Realistic About Make-Up

This is an area where I have managed to massively cut down over the years.  I used to take my full make-up bag with me, but this is weighty and half the products I end up not using. So.....

Waterproof Mascara, eyeliner, a mini eyeshadow pallet, concealer (two shades to match when my skin tans), blusher, face powder.  I can get away with not wearing foundation on holiday so I don't take it.  A eyeshadow brusher, an all rounder blending brush.  Two lip glosses and a red lipstick.  Done.

Buy It, Don't Pack It

A hat for the sun is something obligatory.  This is something I don't use here, so I will be buying one on holiday.  I usually try to pick up a cheap hat while I am on holiday and I always leave it there.  A waste of £5-10?  No.  It will flatten in your suitcase anyway and takes up room.  Just buy one.

The Airport Bag

A tip I have here is buy a nice beach bag, not a cheap one and one with pockets.  Use that as your airport bag.  

Also, do not underuse your airport bag.  Although you don't want to weigh yourself down carrying it around the airport, you can take some necessary items in there that you don't need then to pack.  Remember to put any make-up items, facial spray etc already in a clear plastic bag to save time.

I usually put my moisturiser in and my facial spray.  My perfume goes in there also and my lip glosses.  I also put my sunglasses in, my kindle, my earbuds and charging case, my phone/kindle charger and most importantly, a couple of pairs of underwear and a swimsuit (just in case my luggage heaven forbid gets lost).  I also take all my currency, separated into my purse and an envelope in each zip pocket.  

Take Something Multi Purpose For Your Hair

I take my Dyson.  Other cheaper brands work well too.  I can dry, straighten and curl my hair all in one tool instead of taking multiple appliances.

Prior Preparation

I always get my hair cut before I go on holiday as it grows like crazy when I am on holiday.  I also get my eyebrows waxed and tinted (go a shade darker than normal to account for fading in the sun) plus a pedicure with gel on my toes so I don't need to worry about touch ups.  You could also have a spray tan done if you don't want to look off the plane pasty white, but to be honest, I never bother with that.  Take anti-histamines for a month before you go so you don't get eaten alive and take that Imodium.  I learned the hard way.

The general rule of thumb is to lay out everything you are going to take, then remove at least one item from each pile, excluding underwear.  There are shops where you are going.  Never fear!

And finally....

Leave Room To Bring Things Home

Taking mini products with you and hopefully with the tips above meaning that you are already under the weight limit means that you don't need to limit yourself on holiday trinkets.   Every single time I go on holiday I end up buying a new handbag and something ceramic for my kitchen.  Just don't go for fake labels and ceramics with the place name on them.  Always tacky and always insta regret when you get home.

Other than that, have a wonderful holiday!

Becoming Me - Letting Go of What No Longer Fits

 I recently talked about a book called Butter and discussed societal expectations and how they change and effect you as a person.

There are so many influences on us, from a very young age.  It takes a very strong person not to be influenced completely and many of us fall by the wayside, by deciding to, or simply conforming to fit in to have an easier life.

Now that I am at a stage of my life where I feel open to being myself and who I am without feeling the need to conform, I have the chance to discover who that person really is.  More than that, what I really want from life.  It is important to realise what a rare gift that is.  But I have worked hard to get here.

Throwing off the constraints of society and the people around you, including sometimes the people you love; is a little like taking your clothes off when you come home from a winter's day into the warmth of your home.  You start small with the hat, the gloves, the scarf.  Then comes the coat, which you think is the most complicated part because it is so bulky and has many zips and fastenings.  But then you realise that the jumper that is by now stuck fast to your body is actually the hardest.  But every layer thereafter is much easier.  Until you get to pulling off your socks...

I think that this analogy works well because when you are working to heal yourself and find your peace, you are never quite done.  The things you think will be easy, are not and the things that you thought would take forever, don't.  You can never tell until you start.

I decided to try and make a list of some of the things that have shaped me, looking back with clearer eyes, in the hope that I can make new choices now.  

I was a fat child.  This was why I had few friends in primary school.  Let's be honest here.  Personality is secondary when you are fat.  You know it and I know it.  The only thing that can save you is being funny, and even then; you tend to get typecast as the fat funny one (hello Hollywood) but people know nothing else about you.  I am not particularly funny.

I tried everything to make friends and was “friendly” with some; but what I learned from primary school is that it did not get better. no matter how you tried.  You just had to be not fat.  The rest would follow.  The fact that I was naturally shy did not help.

This carried forward to secondary school.  Although I did eventually find a best friend there.  But I was still an oddity. 

The are two sides to being fat though.  One is being fat in school.  I do not believe that my experiences of being fat at school shaped me other than to point out the obvious.  Children like to find the odd one out.  Someone to pick on.  Children are cruel.  But even at primary school they know that staying in the pack and picking off the weaker ones is the best play.

The other side of being fat is the fact that you are not holding up your end of a bargain that you did not know you had agreed to.  At least in my case.

The bargain was, so I was told for decades, is that you have to be attractive to the opposite sex.  This is paramount.  Otherwise, why do you even exist.  

Attractive means not fat.  Especially when you have an attractive parent.  You must follow suit.  I did not.  This means, you are not good enough.  You have not made the grade.   You are not good enough even to be on the starting block. 

Another thing that shaped me was being the last in line.  My thoughts, my opinions, my feelings did not matter.  They were the last straw. So, I simply started putting people above myself and believed that I, on the bottom rung of the ladder, deserved nothing.  This has been a major controlling factor of my life, or was.  I never put myself first, never bothered making a plan for myself, or my life.  Because I simply did not matter.

One thing about writing that I love is that it is a little like real time therapy.  Except you are making the suppositions to yourself and answering them while you write.  Thoughts occur to me as I type and I discover new things about myself.

The last paragraph is a prime example.  A raw truth that I have never realised before or never fully understood.  I never made plans for my life, because I believed that I did not matter enough to make them.  

These days, I believe in focusing on the here and now.  Not looking back and using reasons from the past to interfere with my future.  But I can learn from it.  It needs no longer to cause me  pain.  Now there is so much that is positive about my life.  Finally. I love my life.  I am working every day on trying to love myself.

For me, my healing started with love.  A clear, true love that could not be denied.  From a person who could see right through me.  To parts that I could not see for myself.  Now, I can.

That love was the beginning.  I was finally on the starting block.

Now, I am excited.  Because now, I know that I matter.  I believe it.  That I deserve space in this world.  That I can create a world for me, of my choosing.  That world includes the person that I love and includes our wants and dreams.  But I have a person who wants me to find my dreams and go for them.  What could possibly be better than that?

I have always been a person who stayed stagnant, whilst occasionally making huge leaps.  I made a leap into plus size blogging, I made a leap to pushing myself to do things on my own (like travelling to London which I have talked about here before); I made a leap into commercial writing; I made a leap by giving up commercial writing in order to write about what I believed; I made a leap back into online dating.  My last leap was the most important, I tried a new way to heal, and in doing so, discovered myself, waiting there to be found.

So, after all of this time, all of the soul searching, all the time I have spent healing; who I am?

What I found is that I am the person that I thought I was.  I am, under it all, a happy person.  I see the good in people.  I am silly, I love to laugh.  I like to take care of the people that I love.  I know that that this is my nature, and is no longer just done in the hope of love.  I have a thousand opinions.  I love to write.  It gives me joy.  

I like to cook.  I want to learn more cooking.  I maybe want to study something.  I want to write more short stories.  Maybe a book. I want to travel more.  I want to go on this adventure in life with my partner at my side and see where it ends.

The future is mine and what I make of it.  The only limits are myself and I am done with limits.