Creative Corner 6 - A Hidden Getaway

Story Prompt - A fictional character describes their hidden getaway 

Let me tell you about my hidden place.  Hidden, yet in plain sight.

The Broughton Club has always been a special place for me.  It isn’t a gentleman’s club or a country club.  It is a members only club for those who want to, quite simply, disappear out of the world; be it for an hour or two or occasionally, a few days.   Numbers are limited and the waiting list is huge.

There has always been an air of mystery about the place.  The club has been situated on Granville Court for as long as anyone can remember.  No one knows who owns it or even who started the club in the first place.  The imposing double doored entrance gives no clue as to what or who is inside.

While most people who pass by think it is a gentleman’s club due to the number of well-heeled gentlemen you seeing entering the premises; the Broughton Club is in fact open for anyone who is willing to pay the membership fee (and sign the members agreement).

The members agreement is simple.   You must be introduced by another member.  You cannot approach other members who are in the quiet areas.  If you are looking for conversation, the bar and dining area is there for you to converse with other members there.  Non-members are not allowed, except for initial member introductions.  What you get in return is absolute peace, with five-star service and total discretion.  A place where you can go and have some peace, real peace, away from the hustle and bustle of the world.  No matter who you are.

Membership is expensive.  They make no qualms about it.    But this isn’t the kind of club where memberships are passed down through families, nor indeed is it the type of place that allows a family pass.  None of my family (except my husband) even know that I go there.  Once you have been introduced, you are vetted (not that they tell you that, but everyone knows that this happens) and you make an application to join.

Once you step through those doors, you get a feeling of home.  A very luxurious home, but home none the less.  Your exact tastes and preferences are noted down once your application has been approved, and they have everything that you could wish for. 

So what do I use the Broughton Club for?  Calmness.  Some time to myself to indulge in quiet moments.  My normal life is hectic.  My work and home life are demanding and time to myself without being bothered is a rare commodity. 

Whenever I get a few hours to spare, you will find me at the club, tucked into one of the large leather high back chairs in the quiet room.   I press a button discreetly hidden in the chair and the book I have been reading from the library is delivered to me.  I order a coffee or sometimes a glass of Dom Perignon from the butler who delivers my book, along with some lunch or dinner.   There is a menu you can look at, but truly, you can just ask for whatever is your fancy at that moment and they will bring it.   

No is not in their vocabulary.

There are others there in the quiet rooms, all doing their own version of peace.  We don’t talk.  There is no need.  That is not why we are here.  Some rooms are simple, quiet, with large fireplaces.  I enjoy watching the fire in the winter.  Sometimes I put my book aside and simply watch the fire crack and spark.  Other rooms have a similar set up, but quiet classical music is played.   

There also smaller rooms if you want to be truly alone.  All the comfort you could wish for, with a button to summon a butler.  You can do anything from read a book to have a full five course Michelin Star meal if that is what takes your fancy.

If you want to stay a few days, you can also do that.  Opulent rooms with huge four poster beds and twenty-four-hour service at the touch of a button.  But no visitors are allowed in the rooms.  Only members.  I suspect that they have previously learned that lesson.

There is a large dining room and bar area if you want to come out from your quiet place.  I have met a few members that way.  We don’t say much.  We talk about the rarity of such a place that allows you to step away from the world whilst sipping on a glass of Domaine Antoine.  We know how lucky we are to have found it. 

No business deals are done there.  Although connections are undoubted made and a personal relationship or two has been forged.  But this isn’t the place to carry out an affair.  You don’t go there for a date.  I should know.  It was my husband who introduced me to the place.  I have never seen him there, nor would I want to.  This is my sanctuary, just as it is his.

The Broughton Club is special because it is unique.  It is set up for isolation and a calm that you choose for yourself.  It offers conversation if you wish, but the quiet rooms are often more occupied than the dining/bar area.

One a year the club hosts a masked ball.  Chosen so that members who can attend can remain nameless if they so choose.  Black tie and ballgowns, with a mask.  If you didn’t know any better, you would think you had walked into the scene from Eyes Wild Shut such is the abundance of wealth on display.  Except there is (certainly) no sex, no orgies, just wine, good food, a quartet playing and good conversation.  The quartet are not blindfolded, but they are paid handsomely for their discretion.

Many reporters have tried to get into the Broughton Club, convinced that there is something sordid there, some story to tell.  They know that only those with money attend and with money normally follows scandal, power plays and deals done behind closed doors.  They would be disappointed if they knew. 

Like Fight Club, the members know that you do not talk about the Broughton Club.  You only bring someone for an introduction if you completely trust them, because any scandal or even breaking of the rules by them would result in you both losing your membership.

In a world filled with money and power, social media and the internet, secrets sold for profit and our time increasingly taken until nothing is left, the Broughton Club offers a step away from reality.  

And that my friends, is priceless.

The 1950s Housewife Lie - Why Domestic Bliss was a Myth

One in six people are now thought to be on anti-depressants in the UK.  That equates to around 15% of the population.  Women in their 50 and 60s are the highest demographic.  This information is used by some as “proof” that women were happier when they were in the home and not working.  That those women would not be taking medication had their lives been “as they should have been”.

I have to say first and foremost that the comment "as they should have been" irritates me greatly.  As if women have nothing more to offer than being in the home.  Have no interests other than cleaning and childcare.  As if there is no point in them inspiring for more.  Wanting more.

Yet those unhappy with their lot were stuck.  Until 1964 an employer could refuse to hire you if you were a woman.  You could refuse to sell a home to a woman until 1974.  You could refuse to rent to a woman with children until 1988.  Society then was not designed for women to have independence, whether they wanted it or not. 

So what are the actual reasons behind the current statistics?

Firstly, as we know, men typically do not ask for help.  They do not talk about their problems, and that includes not talking to their GP and getting help.  Women do.  Women also attempt suicide in greater amounts than men, but tend to do so in a cry for help way, whereas men tend to go for the option that will be fatal.

So the numbers are already not accurate.  We do not know the number of men who need help but do not ask.

But let us look at the supposition that the women were happier when they were housewives.  This is something that cannot be quantified.  Because the times and choices available were completely different back then. 

But we do know this. 

Antidepressants were first introduced in the 1950s.  Let's look at some of the adverts, targeted solely at women I may add, from that time.

You can't set her free, but you can make her feel less anxious

Housework is simple ladies!  Take Ritalin!

The food machine can cook again when you take Morndine!

Figures show that 20 - 30% of women were taking anti-depressants in the 1950s and this continued in an upward motion through the decades.  Valium, well known as "Mother's Little Helper" was brought to the market in 1963 and sales went from 500,000 in 1965, rising to 29 million in 1970 and peaking at a staggering 88 million by 1988.  That is just figures from the US.

So many women obviously were not happy.  They were depressed.  There are of course women who wanted to be stay at home mothers and thrived on it, or were at least happy.  

The issue we have is that women in general want more in life than being attached to a vacuum cleaner with a child tied to the hip.  They wanted more than just their lives to be in the home 24/7 with zero breaks.  While their partners get free time and indeed, days off work, the women did not.  Their money was controlled, did not have a bank account or in some cases, access to money that was not given to them by their husbands.  While some wanted this life, many were stuck in that life.

The fact that in the same decade that anti-depressants were introduced, that 20-30% of women immediately needed them, says everything.

I think now of the film Mona Lisa Smile.  Particularly Julia Stiles' character, Joan.  She was brilliantly minded.  She got into Wellesley.  Was offered a place at Yale.  But she chose to become a stay at home mother.  I do not judge her for that.  That was her choice.  It is more the reactions and responses of her soon to be husband that I noted.    How could she go to Yale but have dinner on the table for 5.00pm?  He may have thought that she was intelligent, but it was inconsequential.  Her role was cleaning the home and cooking, then raising children.  Her intelligence was amusing and fun for him, but not taken seriously.

But I hear you say, women started working in greater numbers from the 1960s onwards.  That is the reason for the increase in anti-depressants!!

Sorry, but no again.  The fact that is that more women did start working.  But the amount that they had to do in home stayed the same.  This has continued, although decreased slightly, into present day.

There are numerous studies that show that women do a far greater amount in the home then their male partners.  A recent study shows that 67% of the women interviewed said that they did a far greater amount in the home compared to their partners.  

Is it any wonder that more and more women turned to anti-depressants.  They thought that by working, the split at home would be equal/more equal.  But this was not the case.  They gained bank accounts and access to money, but their time was still regarded as the families while the husband's time was not.

Some men see the 1950s as a golden time.  It is plain to see that for women, it was not.

Creating Space, For Yourself

 I don't think that the work that you do to improve yourself ever really ends.  Nor should it.  It is important to reevaluate, reassess and dig a little deeper.

I am in a place in my life now where I am the happiest I have ever been.  I have worked on myself a lot over the years, especially for the last two years and it really shows.  I have reached a freedom, a peace and a clarity of mind that I never knew that I could achieve.

When you sort out the big things. the smaller things that were not noticeable before, appear.  Old behaviours or reactions that worked well at one time in your life, but are not needed now.  Some of them are so unconscious that you don't even realise.

I feel so lucky that I am at a stage now where I can see these behaviours and can work towards changing them.  For example, I have mentioned in a previous post that I unconsciously wait for someone's reaction, before allowing my own, which affects and changes how I react.  Now I know that I do this, and more importantly, why I no longer need to act this way; I can change it.

One of the things that I have realised is that I have always made myself small.  My needs and wants have always been put second, last or not even at all.  Other people have always mattered more.  I have never put myself first.  Said what I wanted.  What I needed.    

I think that that is why that I have always enjoyed and offered to organise.  Because then I can slip in some of my wants and needs.  But in general, I have always put others before myself.

This stems from a lifelong need to be wanted.  To be loved.  I have burned for years, keeping others warm.

But now, I no longer need to.  Recognising this to be true was a step that I reached recently.  I am loved.  I am wanted.  I deserve to be bigger.  To branch out.  To say what I want.  Ask for what I want.  I can allow myself that now.

I realise now that I matter too.  I have always mattered.  And I deserve to exist in a space in this world.  

The road ahead of me is exciting.  Because I am making choices now for myself, not just acquiescing to others.  Not just assuming that my needs are automatically smaller or inconsequential.  

This is my time now and anything is possible.

Shall I tell you a secret? One day, I want to write a book.  For now, I am practicing with short stories.  Because, why not.