It's There for a Reason

I wrote a post a few weeks ago called Trashing the Memory Palace  It this post I had decided that it was time to open up all the locked doors, see what really was hidden in the attic, get everything out in the open.

Well that was a few weeks ago and I have been trying to do that.  I have genuinely tried to let all the repressed stuff in my head out in the open, let myself feel it instead of lock it way.

I've come to a conclusion.  You create a memory palace for a reason.  Mine was made unconsciously, as a result of blocking out anything bad or crappy over the years.   But it has served it's purpose, I am happy 99% of the time (apart from when ranting but hey, I enjoy that too).

Since opening up the biggest feelings to come out are hate and grief.  I don't need or want them in my life.  Past events are just that.  The past.  Dragging those feeling into "the now" is for me, a pointless exercise.

I've acknowledged those feelings now at least, but now they are going to be thrown back in the palace, under lock and key, where they belong.  Just like that ghost in the attic, you know that it is there, but don't want to see it.

Undoubtedly all psychologists would be shouting at me now saying "Carry on!  You're making progress!".  Well that's about as much progress as I want, thank you.

I don't know really when I am writing this here.  I needed to put it down somewhere and I don't do diaries.  So it's here.

The next post, I promise, will be a rant or about something happy, like bunnies.