Changing your name is a lengthy process, full of millions of
letters and in the case of passports and driving licences, lots of money.
I have been thinking for a while
now of changing my name. Well, when I
say changing it, what I actually mean is reverting back to the name on my birth
certificate. Given the time,
documentation and money involved, as well as the emotional ramifications, this
decision has taken a while to reach.
I was eight when my dad died and
just over a year later my mum remarried.
Although I was happy to see her resettled, and he was and is the best
stepfather I could have hoped for, from then onwards I felt disjointed.
Maybe it was the little girl’s
way of thinking, but I remember at that time feeling that I wasn’t a proper
member of a family anymore. When the
holiday tickets used to arrive each year with the different names on it felt
strange and wrong. Like I was a leftover
from an old relationship.
When I reached 11 after talking
about how I felt it was decided that I would change my name to the new
surname. Given my age I didn’t need to
bother with change of name deeds and I didn’t want to go down the adoption route,
so I simply started using the new surname.
Years down the line and now I’m
33. Whilst I understand my reasoning for
wanting to change my surname when a child, I now miss my old surname. I miss the connection it gave me to my dad
and I’ve found, that although I call myself by my stepfather’s name, I still
think of myself in terms of my dad’s name.
I don’t need the sense of
belonging like I did when I was a child.
Taking back my former name is in a sense reconnecting with my younger
self and that is something I want. So
much of my life went awry after my dad died and now I think I have finally dealt
with all that, I want a new start with the old me.
So, after I have a long talk with
my step father, whom I love a lot and want him to understand, I will be going
back.
Hello Vicky Cooper. I’ve missed you, a lot.
OMG I have a post with the exact same title!! Taking a new name has meant so much more than just being married Hi to Vicky Cooper - I get it!
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