My Shovel List

We have all heard of the bucket list, the things you want to do/accomplish before you die, but have you ever heard of the shovel list?

In Marian Keyes’ new book, The Mystery of Mercy Close her main character describes it as “A list of all the people and things I hate so much I want to hit them in the face with a shovel."

As this sounds more fun, and therapeutic than a bucket list, I thought that I would do my own.  Mine has sections though.  Turns out there are more people in need of a shovel in the face than I had originally though.

So in no particular order….

The “Too Happy/Nice therefore must be Psychopaths” List

All morning people

Bonnie Langford

Cliff Richard

Anthea Turner

The Politics List (This one is limited on the grounds I couldn’t possibly name everyone)

The current British Government

Mitt Romney

David Cameron (he deserves a special mention)

The Pop “Stars” List

Miley Cyrus

Justin Bieber

Geri Halliwell

Coldplay

Gwen Stefani

Madonna

The Collective List

The Catholic Church

The Pope (again, special mention required)

Reality TV contestants

Jehovah’s Witnesses

Chavs

Any/all fundamental extremists from any religion

Bigots

Jeremy Kyle viewers

The “People I don’t have an explanation for, they just NEED a shovel to the face” List

Pastor “Dickdonaldo” Maldonaldo

Sebastian “The |Cucumber” Vettel

Gwyneth Paltrow

Clowns (these need multiple shovels on the grounds that they are scary)

Jeremy Kyle

Louis Spence

I think that will do for now ;)