Gorgeously Ugly

Confidence and self worth.  Both are things that can be hard to find sometimes, but once you have them, don't ever let them go.

 

What has surprised me during my journey of rediscovering confidence, colourful clothes and self worth is when I have looked back on situations and looked at how I have reacted in them.  When people have said things to me, or in the case of a certain guy, who wanted me in private, but denied me in public.

 

The best way to deal with insults is of course to ignore them and realise that the people who say them are not worth your time, or your tears.  In the case of the opposite sex though, this can be harder to deal with.  What makes me angry was is not the fact of how he treated me, I've moved past that, but the fact I LET IT HAPPEN.

 

Over a longer time period than I would like to admit I went along with someone who would tell me I was gorgeous and sexy in private, but would deny that anything was happening, or had happened, between us when asked.  I went along with this.  YOU BLOODY IDIOT.

 

I'm writing this now and putting it up here because I think it is important to be said.  Because someone might read it and admit that they are in or have been in that relationship.  Anyone who treats you that way is not worth your time.  You are worth more than.  I am worth more than that.

 

I was as much to blame because I let it happen.  I had no confidence and clearly no self respect.  But I changed.   I started to read these sort of blogs and realised that it was ok to be who I am.  To look the way I look. 

 

In the end, the only person you can make you feel bad about yourself is you.  I look at the girl I was a year ago, all in black with no confidence to the girl I am today, happy, wearing bright red, confident and I smile.

Have the confidence.  There is a whole world out there waiting to be enjoyed.  It is worth the journey.