Work Wear to Party Wear

Hi there!  It has been so long since I have done an outfit post that I thought that it was high time that I pulled my finger out!

Today I am talking about the conundrum that is work wear to party wear.  You know the scenario, it has been a long week in the office and the suggestion goes round to go out for a couple of drinks on Friday.  Now if your workplace is anything like mine, those couple of drinks after work can easily turn into you being on the dance floor at 1am wondering how the hell you got there. 

The question is, what do you wear?  I for one do not want to be carting party dresses and shoes to work.  When we tend to out after work, that means straight after work, so I do not want to be messing around changing clothes and changing my makeup.  So what to take?

For me I like to wear an outfit that can be changed up to suit any scenario, be it the quiet couple of glasses of wine envisaged, or the party animal on the dance floor with a cocktail.  

So my after work checklist runs simply to bringing my eyeliner with me (I would recommend the Nars Larger Than Life longwear eyeline which goes on like a dream and really does long all day), some concealer and a couple of accessories.

This is an outfit that I have worn on one of my Friday night jaunts, the outfit being changed up simply be unbuttoning a few buttons, taking off my cardigan and adding a necklace.

Sleeveless Shirt Dress £30.00

Fit is true to size (I am wearing a 26)

The length on the site size 37" but I would say it more like a 39"

Cardigan - old from SimplyBe

Peep Toe Shoe Boots E Fit £24.00

Heel height at 2 1/2 inches - perfect when you have a long day/night

Necklace - vintage - charity shop

Changing Up My Accessories

When I first found my confidence, everything about what I wore changed.  My clothing turned to dresses, my jewellery became statement and bold; my shoes took more of a backseat instead of having to be the only colourful things I wore.

I have been looking back at my old blog posts and came across one that showed all the costume jewellery that I had been wearing recently.

The thing is, your style evolves.  Whilst I still love costume jewellery and statement pieces, they no longer fit into my clothing collection.  If I were a more fashion forward person, I could probably make them work in interesting ways like I have seen many other bloggers do; but I am not.

I am still a woman that wears dresses 100% of the time, but now, unlike when I started to gain more confidence; every single one of them is patterned.  The jewellery that I want now is more simple, something classic that I can wear day or night.  

I just want one or two simple pieces that are versatile and I don't mind paying a little extra to get them.  After all, if I am wearing one or the other nearly every day, they will pay for themselves (see how I can justify anything?)

So here are some pieces that I have been looking at:

Michael Kors £89

This a bit of a bling piece but as a Michael Kors fan, I cannot resist.  If the pendant was larger, it would not work as a day/night piece but with the size, I could definately rock this for business wear or a cocktail at the bar.

Links of London £65

This is the perfect example of what I am looking for.  Simple, classic and will work with either a day or night time look.  This is definate contender and one I will more than likely purchase.

Mikey £69.30 (on sale from £99)

Again, this is an evening look necklace, but one that I could match with many outfits.  It has a vintage feel to it, which I love.  Very Downton Abbey.

Folli Follie £75

This is another prime contender.  You cannot get much more classic than a heart necklace, but with the double chain and a little bling, I am sold.

So those are my choices.  I am thinking numbers 1 and 4 as being the pieces I will probably go for.  Both need saving for but perhaps one could be a Christmas present from someone?  *Starts writing Christmas list

My Shovel List - Updated

Four years ago I wrote my shovel list.  You know the one, the list that has all things and people that you want to hit in the face with a shovel.

I was rereading my list and it made me laugh.  I got to thinking about some entries that would no longer make it on the list, and many more that would.  So here you go, my updated list.

The Too Happy/Nice People That Clearly Must Be Psychopaths

Bonnie Langford 

Anthea Turner

Morning people

Politics (including those hate groups who try to be political- Limited As I Could Be Here All Night

Donald Trump (obviously)

Nigel Farage (can I hit him twice?)

The EDL

The BNP

UKIP

Britain First 

The Tories

David Cameron

Boris fucking Johnson

Michael Gove 

Jeremy Hunt

I had better stop here....

The Pop Stars List

Coldplay

Justin Bieber

Robin Thicke

Mariah Carey

Robbie Williams (I used to love you Robbie, but now you need a shovel)

The People I Don't Have An Explanation For, They Just NEED A Shovel To The Face List

Sebastian Vettel

Gwyneth Paltrow

Clowns (these need multiple shovels)

The people who make the tampon ads

Pass me the shovel!!!

The "Women Are Evil As They Won't Date Me, Let's Threaten Them Instead" List

Where do I start?

MRAs

MGTOWs

Redpillers

A Voice for Men

Return of the Kings

Roosh V

So there is my list, who is on yours?

August Showers

A fact that is known to anyone saving up for something, be it a holiday, a present for someone or even a present for yourself; is that something unexpected and expensive to fix will always go wrong.

In this case, it is our bathroom.  We have had the same, small and increasingly tired looking shower now for about fifteen years.  One of those things that we should have changed out a while ago, but never got around it. 

Well, this is what procrastination gets you, because now we are told that the floor beneath the shower is sinking and unless we want to disappear into a hole in the floor one day, that floor, and consequently the shower needs replacing.

Can we have these one please?  Will only need a very large extension and about a hundred grand....

Our current shower is small, square and frankly not somewhere that you want to stand and luxuriate it.  As we do not have a bath, I think it is time that we put a little luxury back into our bathroom.  

I cannot believe how many options there are these days, not being one for going around bathroom showrooms (or inspecting people's bathroom fixtures); I was surprised at all the different options and sizes you can buy.

I have narrowed it down to these few options.  Lucky for us, my brother in law is a joiner/plumber/electrician extraordinaire so we can afford to spend a little more on the shower than originally intended.

Offset Quadrant Corner Shower £398.00

I like the idea of the spacing with this shower.  With being a rectange it is much larger than the one we have now, but with the curved edge, it will not take up a massive amount of room.

2 Sided Large Hinge Shower £625.00

I love this lovely large shower, but I feel unfortunately for our small bathroom it would take up more space than we have and the price is a bit on the steep side.

Twin Door Quadrant Shower £433.00

This quadrant shower is a little bigger than the one we currently have, but again with the curve it will save on floor space and is on sale with all the necessities included.

This is still a little more research to get done, but I think we are nearer a decision now.

Why I'm Done With Disclaimers

*At this point I would usually go with "Beware, this is a long read"  But I am done with disclaimers.  Read or don't read.  It is up to you.

Go to any article about women, feminism; crimes against women; tv shows or films with female leads and you will run into trolls or MRAs.  Usually both.  

After a few years of engaging and getting angry myself (I know I should avoid the comment sections but I cannot help myself), I have tried a change of tactic.  Amusement. I laugh as the insults get worse, the comments become more and more "But women bad, men good!". 

Recently I made a comment on Facebook on an article from the Guardian about who should be the next James Bond.  There was a spoof piece written in the Guardian entitled "Forget Idris Elba, It's Time for a Lesbian Bond  Clearly a satire piece and one that I found funny.  

Whilst some took it in the humour it was intended, there was the inevitable backlash of PC gone mad, feminazis at it again, don't fuck with Bond bitches!  

I commented "Jesus people, it is satire.  Don't worry.  Your Bond will remain the misogynistic asshole he has always been".  I wasn't actually intending to provoke a reaction, that thought went straight from head to keyboard.  But, all hell broke lose.

Long story short, I ended up deciding to have fun with it and play a game of troll bingo.  In 89 comments on my little sentence, I had points on the board for triggered, feminazi, overweight, lonely, cat lady, man hater and my favourite. obnoxiously mouthy.

via GIPHY

That is the funny side of the comment section.

Then, and this is the point of my blog post today, you find the #notallmen crowd.  The #whataboutmen crowd.  The "I'm going to ignore this horrible crime that happened to this woman, but look at what happened to this man one time five years ago" crowd.  The "you didn't mention men in this article/post/quote so therefore you are a misandrist" crowd.  The "feminist doesn't mean equality, look what this woman said 15 years ago" crowd.

A woman was raped "Men get raped too you know and false rape accusations are rampant".  A woman was beaten by her partner "Not all men".  A woman was murdered "women kill men too".

Hell, you can't even win a gold medal without your husband being given all of the credit.  You might not even have your name used, you are just called someone's wife

Time and time again you see the entire comments section filled with arguments that have nothing to do with the article, filled instead with "yes I know bad things happen to men too" conversations.  Those of us who dare to question the diverting tactics are immediately labelled man haters.

Now it is all over social media.  You cannot say anything about being a woman, inspiring women or anything that happens to women without being told that you should have mentioned a man.  Proof?

On Saturday night, after another "you got nothing to be vain about bitch" comment on a selfie, I posted:

"A woman having confidence is not the worst thing in the world.  You know what is? The people who tell her she shouldn't have any"

Nothing wrong with that as far as I can tell.  Nothing derogatory against anyone, other than the people who do that.  Something uplifting for women to remember.

However.  I received a message, that I did not understand, telling me in a series that I was trolling men and I was a man hater.  This did not come from a troll or the usual MRA fuckwit.  This was a regular (I thought) person.

I read and reread my tweet, looking for answers.  I asked why they thought the above, only for them to resend my message back to me, asking me to reread it.  I was completely oblivious as to why my tweet came across as anti men.

Today, I read my tweet again, together with the conversation that followed.  It dawned.  Dawned in a way that made me want to smack my head against a wall.  The reason they had a problem with my message was that it did not include that men should have confidence too.

I am done with this shit.  I am done with this whiny want of inclusion of men in every single thing about women.  We are seemingly not allowed to say anything about ourselves, without first acknowledging that some man, somewhere, has experienced it too.  

If you cannot get through a tweet, an article, a comment about women without crying "what about men"; I cannot be arsed with you any longer.  I will no longer engage.  You are not worthy of my time, in the comments sections or on social media.

Women are not required to mention you in every section of their lives. We do not need to pander to your insecurities any longer.  If your response to an article about a woman being raped is "Men are raped too" you are a pathetic excuse of a human being.  

If you cannot read a comment about a woman having confidence without thinking "Why didn't she mention men having confidence" I can't help you.  Reassess your fucking priorities.   I'm done.

I'm out.  

Just Keep Swimming

I am looking at you, the vast white blank space that is my new draft post.  You entice, making me want to fill you up with words, my thoughts on display, my feelings on show.

(Jesus, that sounded a lot more filthy than I meant it to come out.  But hey, the intention here is to get me writing again, so I will allow it, this once)

I can see the words that I want to type, dancing just behind this vast white screen.  The many topics I want to speak about, suddenly disappear the moment I open my laptop.

It used to be so easy.  I used to post 2, 3, 4 times a week sometimes.  With ease.  I could bang out an opinion piece in a few hours, the thoughts formulating in my head as I went through my day, pouring out of me when I got to my laptop at night.  

Do I have less opinions these days?  Hell no.  Probably more.  Am I less passionate than I used to be?  Definately not.  But the words, they still do not come.  Irritatingly, if I am given a subject, a starting point; I am fine.  The words flow easily like they did before.

Ironically. this post that I am writing to you now is flowing.  The words are here, within my grasp.  The thoughts come together.  This means that I still have it in me, but the dots are not connecting.  Is this writer's block?

I think what I am lacking is focus.  My work life is insane at the moment, my head is still coming out of the loss of my step dad and my beautiful little dog child, Ellie.  My anxiety has spiralled and I feel like I am constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. It has been a really shitty couple of years, but I feel ready, more than ready to clear the head space and become me once more.

I re-read a post that I wrote for the Huffington Post in 2014 this week. Mirror, Mirror On the Wall and it made me remember the love that I had for writing.  The passion that I felt about body confidence, about reminding people that we are more than just our bodies; that is ok to look at yourself in the mirror and like your reflection.

I have tried everything to reignite my writing bug.  It is still there, in force, but still under the surface where I cannot yet reach.  I need my focus back.  I need to clear my head of what has gone on before and just write.  I need the Twitter me to expand and jump on to my blog page.

via GIPHY

I think that I am just doing to channel Dory.  Instead of keeping swimming, I am just going to keep writing.  Not focus on a subject, just write.  Lord knows what you will be reading, but I feel that it is the only way to bring myself back.

I will try and throw some interesting pieces in between the journey of self reflection.  But I ask that you bear with me in the transition.  It is time for the gobby opinion to make a return to The Curved Opinion.

Work Handbags

One universal truth is that the bigger the handbag you buy, the more you will find that you absolutely have to have in it.

I remember in the late 90s (yes, that shows my age) going on a night out with nothing more than a purse that held my money and a lipstick.  These days, that list has expanded somewhat.  Phone, purse, lipstick, eyeliner, concealer, pressed powder, face brush, mini brush... Ah, to have my 1990s face complexion!

When it comes to handbags for work however, my tastes have never changed.  I need something that will go with every outfit (a different coloured dress every day could pose a challenge), something to hold the never ending list of things I absolutely need (read not really) to take with me, something that is aesthetically pleasing and timeless.

I am currently looking for an new work handbag so thought that I would show you some the bags currently in contention.

Asos £59.00 

You really cannot go wrong with a black crocodile skin (fake obviously!) handbag.  This is the first handbag I spotted on my search and is high on the list of contenders/

Carvela Winged Tote Bag £49.00

This bag would go with every and I love the simple gold detailing to it.

DunedinCashmere £69.99

This is the most professional looking of the bags I have been looking at.  It would go great with a suit for those days I want to look a little more professional.

John Lewis £33.00

I love the styling of this bag, although on a practical side it is only something that I could use in the Summer months and is cream a good idea when dragging around on the bus every day?

Vivienne Westwood £400.00

Ok, ok, I admit it.  This bag is not in contention.  I cannot afford a £400 bag for work.  But I LOVE it.  I adore everything Vivienne Westwood and I have a major style crash for this bag.  Sadly, it is not meant to be, but at least I can look at the picture.  Sob!

Going through all of the above, I think that the Asos bag is my best bet.  What do you think?