I have the week off from work this week. My mum is away on holiday and my little puppa is in the kennels. I was fretting that he would not take to it, but having rung the kennels up this morning; I hear that he is ruling the roost and all the staff have fallen in love with him. No surprises there.
I have been looking forward to this week off for so long now. I have been desperate to have some time on my own and relax. I wanted a week to clear my head with no distractions, no commitments and time to clear my head.
The only thing that I booked this week was a day at the local spa for the thermal experience. I am a member and usually go 4-5 times a year. Usually with the girls, but sometimes, like this week, alone.
Having the confidence to do things on your own can be, and is, intimidating. It takes confidence and the ability to not look around and wonder what people are thinking about you and concentrate on enjoying yourself.
As I have said in a previous post, next year, I would really like to go on holiday on my own or even travel a little. This means building up my confidence to do things on my own and not worry about others.
I have been to the spa a couple of times on my own and each time, I felt self conscious and spent more time wondering if people were looking at me, judging me for being on my own and feeling sorry for me than I spent actually enjoying myself.
When you are fat you are more visible. When you have large breasts that no swimsuit will properly cover so you end up with a massive cleavage you are visible. When you are alone and all of these things, you are more visible.
Yesterday though, I decided that it would be different. I would think about nobody other than myself. I wanted to lose myself in my own thoughts and enjoy myself. That is exactly what I did and it was wonderful.
I cleared my pores (and my head!) in the salt steam room. I went in the outdoor jacuzzi and let the bubbles and the sunshine wash over me. I swam in the swimming pool. I floated in the relaxation pool with stars on the ceiling and soft music playing.
Half way through my day I decided that a cocktail was in order. On my way to the terrace bar I bumped into an old work colleague. This would have been my worst nightmare before. Bumping into someone gorgeous and confident, surrounded by her friends and me, alone.
I didn't feel embarrassed for being on my own. She asked if I was on my own and I was not ashamed to say yes. I said that I was enjoying some me time and she replied, saying that she wished that she was confident enough to that too. It was a genuine statement and it made me remember that we all struggle with confidence sometimes.
I enjoyed my cocktail in the sunshine on a comfortable settee and headed back to the relaxation room. There are loungers surrounding the relaxation pool that I always see people reading on or having a snooze. I always wanted to do the same on my own, but before, I would have worried too much to do it on my own. This time, I had a 45 minute nap and then headed back out to the swimming pool, before getting ready for home.
I left feeling more confident, happier and clearer in my head than I had done in a long time. I am getting there with enjoying myself on my own. We should all be able to enjoy ourselves alone without thinking about others. I think I have taken a giant leap in that direction.
How do you feel doing things on your own?
As I have said in a previous post, next year, I would really like to go on holiday on my own or even travel a little. This means building up my confidence to do things on my own and not worry about others.
I have been to the spa a couple of times on my own and each time, I felt self conscious and spent more time wondering if people were looking at me, judging me for being on my own and feeling sorry for me than I spent actually enjoying myself.
Yesterday though, I decided that it would be different. I would think about nobody other than myself. I wanted to lose myself in my own thoughts and enjoy myself. That is exactly what I did and it was wonderful.
I cleared my pores (and my head!) in the salt steam room. I went in the outdoor jacuzzi and let the bubbles and the sunshine wash over me. I swam in the swimming pool. I floated in the relaxation pool with stars on the ceiling and soft music playing.
Half way through my day I decided that a cocktail was in order. On my way to the terrace bar I bumped into an old work colleague. This would have been my worst nightmare before. Bumping into someone gorgeous and confident, surrounded by her friends and me, alone.
I didn't feel embarrassed for being on my own. She asked if I was on my own and I was not ashamed to say yes. I said that I was enjoying some me time and she replied, saying that she wished that she was confident enough to that too. It was a genuine statement and it made me remember that we all struggle with confidence sometimes.
I enjoyed my cocktail in the sunshine on a comfortable settee and headed back to the relaxation room. There are loungers surrounding the relaxation pool that I always see people reading on or having a snooze. I always wanted to do the same on my own, but before, I would have worried too much to do it on my own. This time, I had a 45 minute nap and then headed back out to the swimming pool, before getting ready for home.
I left feeling more confident, happier and clearer in my head than I had done in a long time. I am getting there with enjoying myself on my own. We should all be able to enjoy ourselves alone without thinking about others. I think I have taken a giant leap in that direction.
How do you feel doing things on your own?
It sounds like you had a fantastic time at the spa! I'm so glad you've been enjoying your alone time, and have gained the confidence to do all of those little things alone you've wanted to do. It must have felt so liberating. I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable going to a spa alone, but pre illness, I was quite comfortable doing a lot of things by myself, like travelling across the UK to meet up with friends, going to concerts, swimming, and sight-seeing. I kinda miss the freedom of doing stuff like that alone, at my own pace now I can't get out and about on my own anymore. I never did feel comfortable going for a meal or to a bar alone, though, and feel more comfortable doing those things with other people, but maybe one day... xx
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