I've Had It, Just Vote!

So.  This is a ranting and yes, most probably patronising and frankly you may think "she is a bitch"post in parts, but honestly, I have fucking had it with some people.  (Yes there will be swearing too).

I have officially had enough with pussyfooting around non voters and the undecided.  It is election day tomorrow.  You have had since the 18th April to look at the information, decide between the parties; if you haven't decided by now, what the fuck have you been playing at?

Photo Credit

I am tired of being people's research assistant in comment sections.  I am frankly pissed off by this point of people saying that they aren't sure and want more information from people.  It is the eve of the election, what have you been doing?  

This is not just about bloody Brexit.  Yes, we are leaving. I voted remain but the two main political parties have agreed to go forward with it so I have to deal with it. This is about so much more than Brexit, if you bothered to look. 

I am sick of people reading things like the Daily Mail and deciding on their vote based on that.

Think I am biased against Daily Mail readers?  Well, yes, I have to admit, I am.  Just read the vitriol in the comments sections.  I am the Guardian reading lefty that they love to hate.  The difference being, I have done my bloody research!  I have read papers from every side of the argument, yes including the Daily Mail.  I have read the manifestos.  I have watched Question Time for months.  I have watched the questions and answers programmes to the leaders (not debates as Theresa May refuses to debate!!!).  I have gotten all the information I could, which has backed up my choice of whom to vote for.

To the people who have decided not to vote: 

Yes your vote will be a difference. 

Yes it does matter who you vote for. 

No they are not the same.

What I share below is unbiased fact of the main policies of the two main parties.  Yes unbiased.

TORY

Goodbye NHS. If the NHS goes private (as the Tories want and have investigated into), you will suffer. Get pregnant? Prepare to pay thousands.  Check out this link for more information. Free at point of access for the working only.  Elevated costs.  

Goodbye winter fuel and the triple lock on pensions. Goodbye free school meals for children which in some cases means they are losing their one hot meal a day.  Nurses are going to food banks.  I will just leave that bit there for you to ponder.

Security of this country is not properly staffed or funded.  The police warned Theresa May two years ago that she was sacrificing the country's security by getting rid of 20,000 police officers.  She called it scaremongering.  We have had three terrorist attacks this year in this country with proof in each that the attackers were reporting many times to security services but lack of resources meant that the reports were not properly looked into,  Theresa May has been Home Secretary/Prime Minister for SEVEN YEARS.

LABOUR

Free education including university tuition meaning more people who want to get a university education but could not afford it, will be able to. 

The NHS  will be properly funded.

More police. 

Big business taxed properly. 

Read the manifestos or if you can't be arsed, listen to the bloody news. 

I have had enough with this "I don't know/don't care" attitude. It fucking matters. People are dying under austerity cuts.  Dying cancer patients are having their benefits removed.  Look at the info, make up your mind, get off your backside and VOTE.

Watch this NHS pediatrician sob at the reality of the NHS and tell me it is not your responsibility to fucking vote. Sod "your country needs you to vote".  YOU need to vote for yourself.

RANT OVER. Now go, vote.

Dear Daily Mail

Dear Daily Mail,

I just want to say a massive (no pun intended) THANK YOU to you and all of your lovely writers; especially ones like the delightful Linda Kelsey who has written a wonderfully enlightening article today.  

I at a size 24 have been under the dangerously misconceived notion that it is a good thing for a woman to be confident and happy in whom she is.  I thought that it was perfectly acceptable when I went out in public, by myself and with friends to hold my head high and enjoy myself.

What a fool I was!

You have generously provided the public with many insightful articles on the subject of fat women and you should be applauded.  A small side issue by the way, I’m sure it is just a simple oversight, but I couldn’t find any fat men articles?  It’s probably my fault, I am far too lazy (as you well know a fat girl is!) to bother flicking through too many articles, that is far too exhausting!

So I writing to you today not only to thank you but to tell you my plan of action as maybe you might find it helpful to share for others who have not yet seen the light.

1. Throw away all colourful clothing.  Black clothing not only makes you look slimmer which you losing all of the weight, it will help to disguise you and blend in so as other people don’t have such an awful sight to look at. 
2. Buy a sign.  A handmade one will do.  It must be large enough however for people to read from at least ten feet away and must read “I am sorry that you have to look at me.  I am losing weight as quickly I can.  I will hide myself as best as possible in the meantime”. 
3. Throw away any forms of feeling confident.  You will be able to use that confidence again when you are thin and acceptable in the eyes of the general public.
    

I know that this is only a starter guide, but all of my free time at the moment apart from dieting of course is searching for a deep dark dank hole to live in so as I don’t scare people.

 

Kind regards, 

V Frankland


P.S.  Fuck you, with a side order of fuck you and shot of fuck you to have along with it. 
Oh, here is a picture of me.  Happy, confident and fat. 
Toodles.

What does a Daily Mail Reader look like?

If I were asked to think of someone who I would like to physically resemble, I would have said Rachel Weisz.  But now I’ve changed my mind.  I want to look like a Daily Mail reader, specifically, one who writes some of the comments.

 

Now the elusive Daily Mail reader has never been seen out in the open.  From comments made though we can begin to deduce what they must look like.

 

Here’s a profile:

 

Facial Features

Given various comments made with regard to “huge nose”, “needs plastic surgery”, “would need a bag over their head to be attractive” “ugly”, “disgusting to look at” etc etc it can only be deduced that the Daily Mail reader has perfect features, albeit features that would not be so perfect as to be labelled “too bloody good looking for their own good” or “vain” or “must be a slut”.

 

Body

Again, after perusal of the comments it is impossible to accurately guess the size and weight of a Daily Mail reader, other than it is “just right”.  Things therefore that cannot be said about a Daily Mail reader’s body are “you need to eat more pies love” “Fetch a harpoon” “Must have had a boob job” “Tits like a sparrow”, “disgusting” “intolerable” “can’t even look at” “a bad role model” etc.

 

As with the facial features however, we must also note that the Daily Mail reader’s body cannot be so perfect as to then be described as “whore” “vain” “who the hell does she think she is” “must have had plastic surgery”.

 

Given the above, I have finally come to a decision of what the Daily Mail reader looks like.  EVERYONE ELSE.

 

No one has the perfect face.  No one has the perfect body.   No one has any right to criticise the way that someone else looks.

 

So whilst I cannot accurately describe the physical features of a Daily Mail reader, their personality traits should be seen from a mile away.  Look out for rude, obnoxious, insecure, under confident and, if one of them ever reads this, probably angry and already writing a comment below of how I should lose weight, wear a bag over my head, live in a hole underground so I can’t be seen and hold up a sign apologising for the way I look.

 

Meow.