Today on the blog I have the lovely Hazel guest
posting for me from Frocktopus. Hazel is talking today about size shaming and
the disabled overweight. This is a fantastic read and I am so pleased that she agreed to post for me.
As much as I don’t want to believe it,
unicorns don’t exist. The nine year old inside me is crying just typing that. I
on the other hand do exist, and as much as we all like to feel a little like
we’re special snowflakes, there are literally millions of people just like me
on this planet - I’m overweight and I’m disabled.
I’m writing about these things for the
ever fabulous curved opinion today because this blog is all about body
positivity and Vicky has written some amazing posts about the plus sized movement,
which sadly goes hand in hand with talking about size shaming.
Often I’m essentially excused from size
shaming, not because I’m of average BMI (on my scale of awesome fictional
characters from Flat Stanley to Jabba the Hutt I happily sit just shy of Vicar
of Dibley) but because I’m disabled. A fact people seem to forget when
vilifying under/overweight people.
“That’s
me!” I shout.
“Not
you, you’re exempt” they blush. “Besides I don’t think of you as fat”
some
of the nicer friends say.
“Do
one” I say, hitting the Facebook block button, passive aggressive as ever.
These are people that would, quite
rightly, be in uproar if someone said “But you can’t help being black” or “But
I don’t think of you as a woman.” These are not valid excuses people, if you’re
going to make sweeping statements and presumptions about a subset or society,
it’s a good idea to stop, look left and right then think, can these people be
expected to live up to my ideals, and should they be expected to?
Shaming people on the basis that
'people can do stuff but they won’t' is presuming you know someone's situation
better than they themselves (something I regularly try to check with my ‘Am I
being a dick?' filter.) Not everyone is able to cook healthy food, eat healthy
food and exercise regularly enough to be an ideal weight.
If you’re thinking a
group of people aren’t doing something they should, it’s probably a good idea
to take into account the subsets of that group that sometimes cannot physically
do those things, be it by poverty, carpophobia or disability.
Another often touted belief is 'It’s
wrong to have an unhealthy role model'. This is not only saying large swathes
of disabled people can’t have a role model, it’s saying large swathes of
disabled people can’t BE a role model, which is discrimination by omission (a
law/rule/belief that isn’t specifically aimed at a subset of people but
accidentally persecutes them more than average, for example losing job security
for taking long periods of time off work discriminates parents by omission.)
It’s important for all people to have someone that can make them feel like they
aren’t a freak and that they can accomplish something great, whether that’s
being an Olympian or getting out of your PJs by noon (FYI I am in my PJs at
11am writing this, I bet Tess Holiday’s in a fucking power suit by this time of
day).
This attitude towards over/underweight
disabled people is not only pretty discriminatory but I do not believe it’s
about health. Size shaming often masquerades as concern for health but it’s
only a small portion of apparent health people can see on the surface.
Whilst I’ve been told probably over a
hundred times in my life that I’m overweight, I have never once had someone in
the street yell "Oi, Your blood sugar is low”. There are many ways people
can be healthy and unhealthy (for example I’m teetotal) but there is an
inordinate emphasis on extremes of weight due to societies revulsion.
Phobia and revulsion are very closely
linked psychologically, that’s why when you have blood taken you’re sometimes
asked to lay down on a table, because if you’re scared you don't faint, if you
do it’s due to revulsion, even though the mind computes them both as the same
thing. and what is concern? Come on, you know where I’m going with this, fear
for another person.
So body shamers, we know you
care, it’s just we don’t need your compassion/revulsion. What we need is for
you to stop and think “Is this discrimination by omission?" "Am I presuming people
I know someone's situation more than they do?" Am I being a dick?
