My Name Isn't Jack

*For those who came here from @WhatJackThinks - I'm sorry, my name isn't Jack.  I am a woman.  Let me explain.

A couple of weeks ago I saw a man on Twitter who had conducted an experiment by creating an account as a woman, talking about the same issues and having the same stance as himself.  You can read about it below:

THE GREAT TWITTER GENDER SWAP EXPERIMENT OF 2019

Allison Floyd had been floating an idea around for awhile for men to change their avi’s and bios to women genders and continue to twitter as normal.

The idea was simple.

— Michael McKenzie (fmr SGT) (@PatriotMacK) October 13, 2019

His experiment was supposed to last for 3 days, however on the third day before he could end it, his alter ego account was banned.  During that time he gained 250+ supporters and gave him a perspective that can only really be experienced, not learned second person.  I highly recommend you read his thread.

Michael's social experiment interested me as someone who had started talking about gender critical issues 6 months ago (for those who are inexperienced with the term, specifically how trans rights are affecting and reducing women's and children's rights which affects society as a whole).  

For me, entering the gender critical world is a little like being Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz (go with me on this).

If you are a woman, you are Dorothy when she begins her journey on the yellow brick road.  She does not know how long the road is, how hard the journey will be; who is friend and who is foe and is not even sure about where she is going.  She befriends a few people along the way, but she is constantly attacked by flying monkeys and an evil witch on a broomstick trying to stop her at every turn.  It is not an easy journey.  But it IS rewarding in the end.

If you are a man, you are Dorothy when her house has just landed on the wicked witch.  She did not do anything to accomplish this herself, but she is surrounded by applause and is given a parade.  She literally lands on the scene by accident and is given the keys to the city.

This was my belief prior to this experiment and I wanted to see how true my belief was.  What actually happens when a man joins a highly charged debate.  I wanted to try and do this as fairly as possible.   I knew what my journey has been like over the past 6 months and I had my presumptions, as above, about how men experienced that same journey.

So, I created Jack.  I had a spare account already created last June that was not being used (apart from reading tweets from those who had banned me), so decided to update it and give it to my alter ego, Jack, the plumber from London who was new to the gender critical (GC) debate but whose interested had been sparked by his girlfriend.

What Jack Thinks

I decided beforehand to give the experiment a week and see how it went.  What happened was an absolute whirlwind.

I started by following a few generic accounts.  Match of the Day, Playstation, the Daily Mail etc.  Although I told a couple of people about my experiment, I followed no gender critical (GC) accounts.  I wanted organic traffic and follows because of what I was saying, not because I followed them first.

By the end of the first day, not saying anything profound or anything that had not been said by female members of the GC community many, many times before, Jack was a hit.  Within 24 hours, he had 501 followers.

Although I expected some curiosity about the account as men are fairly thin on the ground in the GC community, I never expected so many followers in one day.  I could not keep up with the notifications.

My follower traffic remained organic.  I followed some recommended accounts suggested to me by others, around 20ish I think, but apart from those, every single follower found me.  I did not expect this, certainly not at this level.

Aside from the follower account growing by the second, I was flooded with helpful suggestions of who to follow, articles to read, links to follow; what not to say, how to navigate not be banned by Twitter.   

Men of the GC community followed and popped into my mentions and DMs to say hi.  The advice from men and women was abundant and something I had never experienced as a woman joining the debate 6 months ago.   Even Graham Linehan popped up in my DMs sharing his latest post.

As a woman, respect and trust had to be earned.  There is a reason why the vast majority of us are anonymous on Twitter.

Tweets that I posted, again, nothing special in terms of what I said, received hundreds of likes and retweets.  Like somehow, my words as a man, had more authority.  Were worth sharing more than women who tweet day in and day out about the same issues.

I confess that tweeting accounts that my main account was banned from gained me some pleasure.  As a man I also somehow felt that I could get away with more.  In the majority, my belief held apart from one block, from Rachel McKinnon.

My tweets got more pointed, more up to the minute with the news and things happening on Twitter; more in line with my own account, although absolutely fueled and emboldened by my alter ego.  

On day 2, after the tweet above about putting children on puberty blockers, the TRAs found me.  Generally the discourse was different than I experienced on my own account.  Although highly charged, the tweets exchanged were more of an argument and a facts debate rather than abuse, threats and dismissing my words out of hand.

I felt safe.  The worst thing someone called me was a "little boy" as opposed to on my own account where I have been called TERF scum, evil, a transphobic whore, a far right slut.  

I started to receive a few tweets from women about my surging popularity and how I was being given more leverage as a man.  That tweets I received, would have received threats had I been a woman.  I could not disagree as I have seen it, first hand and is documented, many times.  Example below has had account names removed, but the full screenshot is on the link above.

Men do not, in the GC community, to my knowledge (please feel free to correct me and I will update), do not receive this kind of abuse.   They are not threatened with being fucked by a baseball bat for saying that men cannot become women.    

I confess that I lost my way a little in those first few days, completely overwhelmed by the attention and number of notifications.  Some people were a little suspicious.  Jack even got his own thread on Mumsnet with some willing to give the benefit of the doubt and others thinking that it was a sock puppet account or an amusing parody.

I awoke on day 3 to find I had been given a 12 hour ban.  I am not proud of the tweet that received the ban as it is nothing I would normally ever say.  As Jack I felt like I could say what I wanted, as it turned out, I couldn't.  That said, although rude, it did not direct hate, did not misgender.  "Go play in traffic, fuckwit" however was not my finest hour.  I'm sorry I said it.

During my 12 hour ban I decided to perform the search that many GC people have done.  The Twitter shadowban test (although Twitter claim that they do not shadowban anyone).  The results shocked me.  My main account as I knew, was shadowbanned.  Jack was also shadowbanned, but also had a suggestion for a search ban.

This may be down to the amount of traffic the account had attracted in that 3 days, but still, checking two of the list was surprising after only a few days on Twitter. 

 So here we are, at the end of my 7 day experiment.  

As Jack, I certainly received much MUCH more leeway, exposure, advice and boosting than I ever did as a woman.  I know that this is the experience of the very vast majority of the women in the GC community.  He received a 12 hour ban that I did not expect (although I have never said something like that on my own account & have been confrontational; I have not received a ban, yet).

One thing I have noticed from this experiment is that on my main account I myself have found myself retweeting men as much as women, which is disproportionate given my man to woman ratio of the people I follow.  That is something I will address going forward on my own Twitter account.

Jack was also deboosted and had a suggested search ban at an alarming rate given the number of days on Twitter, but I do have to wonder about the high volume of traffic versus the rarity of a man joining the community rather than a woman.

I am sad to let Jack go.  I felt so free with that account to say what I wanted, although my experiment did show that men do receive some of the same results as women.  But not, as I suspected, the same abuse and threats as women do.

He also managed to gain 800+ followers in 7 days whereas on my main account, I am on just over 500, over a period of 6 months.

I would be interested to see what would happen in other communities.  So far the results in the gun control and gender critical community have been very similar.

To those who followed me, gave me advice, tips and support, I am sorry if you felt deceived.  I hope that you can understand the point of this experiment and that I did not intend to hurt anyone or take advantage.

Signing out now as Jack, returning back to my home at @RipleysChoice.

Man, You Do Not Feel Like A Woman

As a woman, I will never know
what it is to be a man.  How it feels to grow through
puberty as a boy, experience male teenage hormones; how their bodies change;
what it feels like to deal with all of that.   

Likewise, men will never know what
it is to be a woman.  To experience our lives and live as we do.

How it feels when our periods begin
and we start to grow breasts.  How it
feels when the world starts treating you differently because of it.  How our emotions run riot.

The experience of being a man or
woman can be described to you, but you will never truly know or understand,
because it was not your experience.  You
have not felt it.  Lived it.  So how can you truly know?

This is why I can talk about how
it feels to be a woman.   Because I am one. 

Yet now in 2019 we are told that
men can now be “actual born women”. 
Because they feel like or identify as a woman, they are now women.  How can you feel like something you have
never experienced?  That you have no true
knowledge of?

When a transgender woman gets breast augmentation, they see it as way to express their femininity.
Quite frankly though, it is nothing but fakery and bullshit.  Breasts have nothing to do with how feminine you are or feel.

The way that transgender women think about breasts, is how men see and think about breasts.  As sex objects.  They make them feel sexy.  They slap them on their bodies and pretend that this makes them a woman.  They have no idea.



Trans women will never know how it feels to grow breasts at twelve years old and suddenly men are ogling you in the street.  How growing breasts changed you to become something is now regarded as “available”.  On the market.  An object.  Except on the inside, you are still a child who doesn't understand why grown men are whistling and catcalling you in the street.



Trans women can never know or experience what it is like to be told "boys will be boys"when you are sexually assaulted.  In school. Daily.  At fifteen years old.



Trans women are nothing but parodies of what they think women are.  Fake breasts and clothes that look like they are living in a 1980s bordello. 



If trans women actually knew the way that women think, had lived our experiences and had had our bodies, they would not be waltzing into our bathrooms, our changing rooms, our hospital wards and our refuges.  They would understand the fear.  They would understand how unsafe this makes us feel.  Not just how unsafe we feel, but how unsafe we are when put in that situation.



But they don't.    Because they think like men.  They cannot understand that fear.  Because they have never lived it in the same way that women have.



What they are is narcassistic men, who only see what they want and trample over everyone and everything to get it.  All the while sporting a pair of plastic tits and calling themselves a "real woman".



Don't make me laugh.

Removing The Labels That Bind You

I took a long time to find my voice.  To become the having a thousand thoughts and opinions a day kind of person.  

Joining Twitter and starting to write my old blog were both an avenue and arena that I had never experienced before and were in part the catalyst for releasing my voice.  As a result, many thoughts and opinions began to form.  It took a bloody long while to get there, but one thing to know about me is that I can and never will be pushed.  I come to things in my own time.

When I finally found my voice, "the left" seemed to be a natural home for me.  I happily joined the camp of lefties and refused to listen to anyone with the slightest inclination of right leaning thought.  Feminism was another world where I felt at home.  Pro women, pro choice, an easy decision.

But what comes with finding your voice and having a thirst to learn more, is that you begin to question the worlds that you have chosen.  The boxes you have placed yourself in and the boxes that people have put you in.

If you had spoken to me in September last year, I would have described myself as a uber leftie.  An intersectional feminist.  Accepting of all.  The kool aid had been drunk and I was on the party message.

But then.   I began to question the rhetoric.  Ask questions.  Object.  Seeds of doubt about what I thought I believed were planted.



I wonder if Rachel McKinnon realises the amount of people that turned away from intersectionality as a result of them (yes I am being careful) winning that bike race.  The photograph of them standing on the top of the podium.  Clearly male bodied.  Clearly advantaged over the two women who came second and third.  That was the start.



From there, I was like Alice falling round the rabbit hole.  My fall was akin to falling off a cliff and while I grabbed at points of information along the way, by the time I found my feet again, I was a different person; again.



I became irritated by the left who seemed to be becoming more self righteous and controlling by the day.  As I have said in a previous blog post, the presumption of the public and the persona surrounding them has always been that the left are always on the moral side, the side of the people, the right side of history.  The right was always wrong.  So why did I become to feel so stifled?  So controlled?  Wasn't it the right that wanted to control us?



Feminism also began to irritate me.  Specifically the holier than thou way that some went about it.  I cared about women's safety, women's rights, not what a fucking sandwich was called or whether a man opened a door for me was a sign of the patriarchy.



I reached a point where I was no longer a leftie, I was a centrist.  I wasn't sure whether I was still a feminist.  I was gender critical.  That I was certain of.



So from last October when I first started to question everything to know, I was in a state of flux.  I became politically homeless as more and more parties swallowed and spouted out the line that trans women were women.  They are not.  They will never be.



I joined the club of being blocked by Owen Jones (we need a badge of pride I think at this point).



Whilst listening to and learning from many gender critical women, I was also told however that certain people within the movement were not to be listened to.  That they were extremists that would ally themselves to anyone.  But I wanted to listen and make up my own mind.



I was tired of the labels I had both chosen and had been given.  My voice was not being censored, but I was conscious that some of the things I thought were again, would not be acceptable.



I wanted so much to go to the Woman's Place meeting in London.  To see Sharron Davies who I think is fantastic and unafraid in what she says and thinks.  Unfortunately timing issues were not on my side.



But then I saw Make More Noise were holding an event in Manchester.  Talking about the elephant in the room of feminism.  What we did not talk about/enough.  Posie Parker was one of the speakers.  One of the people I had been told not to listen to.  But I wanted to make up my own damn mind.



I really enjoyed her speech.  I also loved the talk by Sarah Phillimore which I understood more from my line of work.



But I was scared to admit that I had attended a talk with Posie involved.  Then I got angry.  I am tired of limiting myself and my experiences.  Who I listen to.  What information I should take from people.



So today, I am removing my labels.  I am politically homeless. Not left, not right, not centrist.  I will viewpoints from all and discard what I don't agree with.  But only after I have listened.  Supporting women, their sex based rights and the rights to their own bodies will always be the line I will stand on.  But I'm taking off the word feminist too.



I am label free other than my biologically fact based description of being an adult human female.



I think I will end my (very long, sorry) blog post with a few things that I believe and all, are a hill I would stand up for and die on.

• Every person is entitled to the same human rights.  No person or group need or deserve more than that.  We don't (yet) live in the equivalent  of Animal Farm.


• Lesbians do not have penises.  


• Biological men do not belong in women's spaces.


• No one under the age of at least 18 should be on hormone altering medication or undergo gender altering surgery.  It is child abuse.


• The state should not be telling parents what sex their child is.


• If you think that you are circumgender trans, you need psychological help, not affirmation.


• If you believe that putting on a dress, having a beard and calling yourself a lesbian is right, again, you need psychological help, not affirmation.


• If you believe that a woman saying no is not allowed because it may hurt your chosen identity feelings, you can frankly, fuck off.

Think I had better stop here.  For now.  More posts to follow.  Thank you, if you got this far, for reading.