Raising Money for Women In Need - Jean Hatchet Interview

A figure that I think that we are all aware of, or should be, is that 2 women are killed by their current or ex partner every week in the UK. 

Whenever I see a story about domestic violence or a woman being murdered by her partner in the news, one thing that I always see people saying is “Why didn't she leave him if he was violent?” yet facts show that the most dangerous time for a woman suffering domestic violence in when she is in the process of, or has already left her partner.

Even in 2019, domestic violence is still something that is swept under the carpet.  Hidden.  Not talked about.  Something that happens to other people but could never happen to you.  You are too strong, too independent, more educated, more worldly.  You would not let this happen.  Until it does.

Statistically, 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime. A lot of things happen behind closed doors and apparent happy facades.

On average, it takes someone suffering from domestic violence 7 attempts to leave. This is a time when support from others is needed most. From both a support and practice side, but also, safety. Sadly, due to Government cuts, help from charities and women's refuges is not always possible; at a time where the need for them is paramount.

Funding for refuges in the UK has been dropping steadily for the past 9 years, to the tune of over 7 million pounds. Two thirds of Local Authorities have implemented major spending cuts, with refuges all over the country being forced to close due a lack of funds.

One of the Councils in my local area for example has cut funding to its refuges by a staggering £620,000.

Help for victims of domestic violence is in nothing short of crisis.  1.3 million women reported experiences of domestic violence in 2018 (source) which is a 100,000 increase from year before.  Domestic violence crimes are also up a further 27%.

Due to the lack of funding available and the shortage of refuges, woman are constantly being turned away, often resulting in forcing them back to their abusers as they have nowhere else to go.

How do we help victims of domestic violence when the Government increasingly does not care?  

Well if you are Jean Hatchet (pseudonym), you step up and find a positive way to help.

Two years ago Jean came up with the idea of raising money for women’s refuges (in particular Wearside Women in Need) by going on 10 mile plus bike rides, with each ride being completed to honour a woman that had died at the hands of her partner or male family member.  To date, she has raised nearly £19,000.00.

Hopefully after reading my post today, you will consider donating to her Go Fund Me campaign too.

Jean has kindly allowed me to send over some interview questions to her, which I share below:

You implemented the idea of bike rides two years ago this April in order to raise women for women's refuges; riding at least 10 miles each time for a woman who had been murdered by her partner or male family member.  How many women have you now ridden for to date? 

I’ve ridden for 232 women now and over 5500 miles. Some of the women I rode for were at the request of their friends or family. I usually ride a lot further than 10 miles. I always ride up a hill and take time on the way up as it begins to hurt to remember the pain and suffering of each woman.  I always smash down on the pedals a bit harder as I think of the man who killed them.  

Image from Pixabay

For many women (and who can blame them), escaping domestic violence is feat enough.  For others, it gives them a strength that they never knew that they had.  You have escaped domestic violence, experienced a stalker and are battling cancer; where do you get your continued strength to be that loud and strong voice for women every day?  What drives you more than anything to do this?

I was lost within my marriage. I dreamed of ways I could live free of abuse. I used to escape into my own head. Sometimes when he was just calling me vile names as a way to pass the time and telling me how stupid I was I would dig my nails into my arm to help focus away from his words as they battered into me.

If I can help another woman to escape that feeling of dying within your own life. I will do it. An abusive man is worse than cancer.

Domestic violence is not just physical.  It also encompasses emotional and financial abuse.  I once read that one of the most important things for a woman to have when moving in with a significant other is a secret escape fund.  A "just in case this all goes wrong" fund.   It is something that I have implemented.  

Is there any similar "future proofing" advice that you would you give women going into relationships today? 

Plan. Plan. Plan. According to the UK femicide census a third of women are killed by ex partners after separation. A third of them are killed in the first month after leaving. Three quarters are killed within the first year. Leaving a man is the most dangerous thing you will probably do in your life.

Be ready to leave at a moment’s notice. Know where your passport and bank card are if you have them and make them easy to access and grab. Make sure you don’t tell him. Don’t confront him. Get out quickly and go to a refuge or the police or a safe place with a friend he doesn’t know. Stay alert. He’s looking for revenge and he’s looking for you.

Really – the advice I would give to women in abusive relationships is – don’t believe he loves you. Don’t believe he will change. He never loved you. He can’t change. He has shown you who he is. Believe him.

For women going into a relationship with a man look for the signs. Check out his background in any way available. How does he speak of his last partner? If he hates her be suspicious. If he doesn’t have access to his children? Be suspicious. Look for him criticising you for your appearance. Look for him isolating you from friends. Read about coercive abuse. Check if he does any of these things. Read everything you can. Be alert for the signs. Tell your friends EVERYTHING that worries you and listen to any concerns they have early.

Women entering relationships with men do a very risky thing given the statistics that one in four women will be abused between 16 and 64. Set a high bar. The good men won’t be too angry to meet it. If it happens that he is abusive and you didn’t spot it – you haven’t failed. He has.

Gender self identification has been the hot topic of the moment with the proposed change to the GRA and most recently, sports women getting involved and commenting on the issue; making the topic more "mainstream". 

Many women, myself included, feel it is very important that women are able to have their own safe spaces, especially in refuges where safety is paramount and places are minimal.   Can you ever see a compromise to this in the future?

There can be no compromise on this. Women will die if there is.

I don’t even see this as an area of debate. Women in recovery who are trying to stay alive do not have to consider the needs of trans women or anyone else at that time. Those women have endured enough at the hands of men and those women have a right to recover among women. Women need those protecting them in refuge space to keep their space free of men.

The law provides for this within the Equality Act 2010 and no woman should be afraid or ashamed of using the law provided to protect her.

In addition to your ongoing campaign to raise money for Wearside Women in Need, you also started a successful Go Fund Me for the complainant in relation to the Ched Evans case.

The circumstances of the case were unusual in that the conviction was appealed after the sentence served.  What made you decide to start the campaign to raise money, knowing the abuse that you would receive from the angry men and parts of the internet?  Does the success of the campaign outweigh the hate and negative publicity that it brought?

When Ched Evans was acquitted on appeal, women throughout Britain felt the pain of the woman who had just endured her ordeal over and over again in a court room. Women felt around the edges of their own pain from their past sexual abuse and it was still raw. Women were hurting and angry and vulnerable and I could feel that. It made me angry.

Section 41 makes me angry. It makes me furious that there has still been no amendment to the law that allowed her past sexual history to be used against her.

I did what I could do. I asked women to help another woman. We do it all the time. We call it “rallying round” and I oh how we rallied! We showed that young woman exactly what we thought of her and exactly how we cared for her and it was one of the things I am most proud of in my life. I loved the women who poured money in to that fund.

I raised £27,000.00 which was split between the complainant and Rape Crisis England and Wales.  When I handed it over I felt we had really achieved something. It wasn’t justice we handed her. It was love.

I know for my part, when I saw Jean’s campaign and donated at the time, it really meant something to me too.  It was a virtual hug and “we got you” to the complainant and an acknowledgement to all other women out there that have pain of their own.

I really appreciate Jean taking the time to ask my questions and I hope that it will encourage you to donate to her Go Fund Me campaign too.

Strictly Style

As it comes towards Christmas (yes I am officially using the C word now) my Saturday nights are filled with Strictly Come Dancing.

I love to see all the beautiful dresses that the female celebrities wear each week and of course, what Claudia and Tess are wearing.   I particularly love Tess' style which is always effortless and classic.  She always looks amazing.  

I recently got the opportunity to check out an interview given by her stylist James Yardley that I thought that I would share with you.  I particularly love, and subscribe, to his ethos of following what you like to wear, not the latest fashion trend.

James Yardley is a freelance fashion, celebrity and commercial stylist. Based in London, he assisted the renowned Frank Strachan, styling clients that included The Saturdays, JLS, Nicole Scherzinger, Kylie Minogue and The X Factor. Now working independently, James works with international and UK based-celebrities, including Rochelle Humes and Tess Daly, alongside commercial brands. He also works closely with suppliers, such as fashion store Garment Quarter, to achieve his on-point looks. We managed to squeeze in a chat with him amongst his hectic schedule…

We’d love to know how your career path progressed to get you to this stage. Could you give us an overview?

I started interning at 21 at Attitude magazine under the then Fashion Director, Frank Strachan. I was supposed to only be there for two weeks and then after two months finally left.

On my first day working at my new job Frank called me and asked if I’d like to start work as his assistant. I took a massive leap of faith, quit my new job and joined Frank the very next day.

Do you have any advice for aspiring fashion stylists?

It’s so cliché but work hard and be kind. It shines like the brightest light in this industry. There are so many people who want to work in fashion and sit at a pretty desk writing emails, but in reality it’s long hours, hard work and determination that makes you into an actual Fashion Stylist. What I mean by ‘actual Fashion Stylist’ is being one of the few who can pay their bills with it as a job, not just write it in their Instagram bio.

We imagine your job’s pretty varied, but what does a typical ‘day in the life of James Yardley’ look like?

I actually couldn’t answer this. Every day is different. Some days are sitting in front of my computer for hours sending emails, others are spent out doing appointments and loaning/buying clothes and other days are spent on set at TV/photo studios. Every day is different, some amazingly fun and some not so much.

Which celebrities have you styled? Do you have any favourites? If so, why?

I’ve styled a varied amount of celebrity clients now but I’d have to say my favourite is Rochelle Humes. She’s just a laugh and she’s become my friend after all these years too.

How do you approach styling a client for an event? Do you get to know them first, research the event or TV slot, or have an overall objective?

It’s a complete meeting of minds. Recently I styled Tess Daly for the BAFTAs and I had an overall objective in my head. I could see the dress in my head and had drawn the design, and with the help of the designer and Tess’ opinion we created the perfect gown for the event. Overall the dress made Tess feel confident, and also gained the best press of the night.

How do you approach different body types? Do you have any tips for dressing different shapes – hourglass, pear, apple, athletic?

Follow what you know, not the latest fashion trend. Respect your body and do it justice by wearing pieces you know suit you and overall give you confidence.

Do your clients ever come with preconceived ideas of what they want? How much input do they have?

The beauty of styling celebrities and not just models is they have a voice and I love that. I would never say I completely styled someone head to toe. As I previously mentioned it’s a meeting of minds and all my clients have opinions – and I work with that when I’m styling them.

You’ve picked the outfit, but what about the extras? ow impoAre accessories, shoes, hair and makeup your decision too?

In the case of working with celebrities I always voice my opinion on hair and makeup but it’s again more of a meeting of minds. We all like talking about an outfit, hair, makeup etc. and by discussing it all openly and brainstorming ideas, I believe that’s how you create a killer look!

We’ve had a peek at your Instagram and noticed you co-designed a dress for Rochelle Humes. Is that something you’re looking to do more of? What else have you designed? Any upcoming projects?

Yes, interesting you ask. I’ve done a few bespoke dress collaborations with designers for Rochelle and also Tess recently. I really enjoy the process and having an opinion so it’s definitely something I’m looking into doing. There are a few upcoming projects – stay tuned!

Tell us about your relationship with Garment Quarter – how do you work together? What do you like about working together?

I LOVE the team at Garment Quarter. I’ve had a long standing relationship with them since I was an assistant and I’ve always enjoyed the amazing selection across a varied amount of brands. There’s always something new and exciting, and something I’m dying to put one of my clients in.

Is there any reason you’d choose designer brands over high street when dressing your clients?

I personally love to mix up designer brands and high street pieces when styling my clients, however I do tend to lean towards designer brands when it comes to quality and unique cut and design. It’s something that only designer brands can offer and can’t be rivalled by the high street.

Quick-fire round – snap-decisions please!

Nickname? Yardley

Tea or coffee? Coffee

Instagram or Snapchat? Snapchat

Worst habit? Not replying on WhatsApp even when I’ve read the message…

Best habit? Saving money!

Mood right now? Excited. I finally get a holiday this week.  

Last thing you ate? Protein bar

Last thing you texted? ‘Sounds magical!’ To my flatmate

Favourite saying? ‘At the end of the day...’ I love to summarise everyone’s conversations!

Interview with House of Fraser

I was recently given the opportunity to interview Sheila Toor, Senior Designer for the Therapy Brand at the +House of Fraser The Therapy line aims to interpret catwalk trends, being fashionable, but not too fashion forward at an affordable price. 

Here is what I asked:

What inspired you to get into fashion design?

From a young age, I have always been fascinated by clothes. My love of fashion design, however, started when I was 11 years old, after I made a pair of jodhpurs as part of a project. I made them from a horrible scratchy fabric but I didn’t care — I was so proud and I thought I looked great!

That’s when I knew that fashion design was the career for me. Even today, I’m still as passionate about crafting clothing as my eleven-year-old self was back then. The only difference is that I now steer clear of those dodgy fabrics!

If you had the chance to be able to dress anyone, who would it be and why?

Now this is a really difficult question! I’m always most excited to dress those who are similar to me and have a real passion for fashion. Someone who has their own unique style and whose eyes light up as they spot the rail of clothes are the most enjoyable to work with. 

Vintage-style prints and shaping are becoming ever more popular.  What trends from the past would you like to see return and which do you wish had never happened?

I think we’d all rather forget the questionable styles of the new-romantic era in the late 1980s. I mean seriously, what were we thinking!?

Personally, I would love to see a revival of 1940s fashion. The era’s flattering, feminine dresses perfectly enhanced a woman’s hourglass shape, while the beautiful floral prints were just to die for. Ladies always looked effortlessly elegant and, of course, drop-dead gorgeous!

The plus-size market is quickly growing momentum with more people than ever wanting the same fashion available to them as the straight-size ranges.  Do you think more fashion brands should incorporate a plus-size range?

Totally! Ladies should be able to express their individual style however they choose and should not be limited by something as silly as a garment’s size label. As attitudes change, I’m certain we’ll see more and more brands including plus-size clothes in their range as standard.

There are many rules that women obey when it comes to fashion, especially when you are a size 16 plus.  Do you believe that fashion rules should be obeyed or is your own sense of style more important?

I’m all for individuality and the beauty of fashion is its versatility. Life would be boring if everyone dressed the same, so I definitely rate individuality over style rules.

I live by the mantra that as long as you feel great, you’ll look a million dollars. Choose items you like, prints you adore and clothes you feel comfortable in. After all, confidence is the most important part of any outfit.