The image that we see in the
mirror is different for everyone. For
some, we see clearly what we look like, for others, the image is
distorted. The reflection looking back
is viewed through a filter of society's expectations and with that, our
perception of the way we look changes.
I have spoken about this
previously in my post The
Image in the Mirror
What particularly interests me
however is the way in which that society filter disappears when we look at our
friends and the ones we love. We do not
judge them by the way that society judges us, we love them for who they are and
we appreciate their own beauty. We do
not see the so called imperfections that we see in ourselves.
I was chatting the other day to a
woman that I know well. She was telling
me about a brilliant night out she had been on with some friends. She then proceeded to show me a photograph
taken of her with her friends saying "Look how horrible and fat I look
compared to them".
I looked at the photograph and
saw a gorgeous, happy, smiling woman.
A thought then occurred to me and
I asked her to tell me what she would think if she and another person saw a
photograph of me and that other person commented how fat I was and how horrible
I looked.
Immediate anger crossed her face
and she said something along the lines of "Just let them say something
like that in front of me!"
This, right here, is the most
complex issue that needs to be dealt with.
Thinking it completely unacceptable to insult me, a woman much fatter
than her, yet it was perfectly acceptable for her to act that way towards
herself.
This does not just happen between
my friend and I, it happens everywhere.
Women judging themselves, picking apart their appearances and hating
themselves for the way they look yet also simultaneously knowing that such hate
is wholly wrong. Two exact forms of
hate, kept in a perfect balance, until you point it out.
Contrary to the popular belief, I
think that people need to look in the mirror more, not less. Get comfortable with the way you look. Take that selfie, take a thousand of them. Embrace that face that is uniquely yours and
recognise the beauty within it.
Look at your body, remember how
far it has taken you, what it helps to you accomplish every single day. Look at the things that you love about it. Aside from your mind, it is the most precious
thing you have and will be with you your whole life.
There are no wrong features and
there is no wrong way to look. Our
uniqueness is beautiful. The red freckle
on the end of my nose that I used to hate and cover hastily with makeup is now
loved. It is distinctive to me and a
part of me.
