F.I.N.E

I’m having one of those days.  I call them my Italian Job days.  Not because I am going around stealing safes, but for the scene where Donald Sutherland explains to Mark Wahlberg what fine means

 

Freaked Out

Insecure

Neurotic

Emotional

 

These days normally occur when I have too much going on, thoughts swirl madly round in my head and I start to panic.  I’ve learnt to see the warning signs now so I know what to do.  I have a plan that I go through that usually works.

I always start with that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach when you know that something is wrong, but you don’t know what.  The breathing gets heavier and a panicked feeling starts.  You reach the point where you feel like you are going to cry.

Before, I would let that emotion take over and meltdown, now I can stop myself. 

1. Breathe.  Just breathe.  In and out, slowly and calmly.  Nothing can happen if you just breathe.
2. What’s wrong?
3. Yes, you do know what’s wrong, say it.
4. Breathe.
5. Everything is fixable, make a plan, step by step, find the fix.

 My “fine” moment may sound stupid to some.  But what I say is that if something is important to you, it is never stupid. My moment today was worrying about my assignment, worrying that I wasn’t clever enough to be doing a degree, worrying I was doing everything wrong, worrying myself into sheer panic. 

 I feel better now.  I’m calm.  I’m back on plan.  I can do this, of course I can; I just need to remember that I can.

Sometimes, you just forget to breathe.