It's weird having a blog. At least for me. It's my baby and I have always guarded it like a mother tiger. Not letting hardly anyone I know actually read it.
I have been writing posts on here, from the serious to silly, from clothes to items on the news for close to two years now. Whilst I've let my mum read the odd post and I know that my sisters have read some, it isn't quite the same as letting my close friends read it who know me best.
With my family they know the "family version" of me, not the whole. It is undoubtedly my close friends that know me best, but I have taken this blog further then I have ever told anyone. I've poured myself onto these blogs without holding back.
This weekend past I let my two best friends read it. I gave them the link and then went to hide in the corner. Neither of my friends are blogging type people so I didn't know whether they would read one or two posts, or the whole lot.
I didn't care what they thought of my writing (well ok, a little bit ;) ). I didn't mind if they thought the blog was good or rubbish. That was never what I was scared about. It is one thing letting strangers read your thoughts, chances are you will never meet them, it doesn't matter.
But letting the closest people to now read your inner most thoughts, the things you think but don't say, the things you feel but hide, the honest to god "this is me yes I'm bat shit crazy really sorry about that" stuff that you typically don't share with anyone but a counsellor.
Ironically my oldest friend is training to be a counsellor and she knows me best. Poor girl. She's had to put up with a lot ;)
Both of these girls have always been cheerleaders for my confidence, knowing how I could be before I knew myself. They also knew me well enough to know that I work at my own pace, on everything. Either supersonic when I make a decision and go with it or a slower more steady route when things are harder.
Both say that I am a different person today than I was a year ago, in a good way.
True friends are the people who stick with you through thick and thin. In my case, they knew me when I was unhappy (although I rarely admitted it), under confident, scared and insecure covered at all times in black. It is good to be with them now when I am happy, confident, strong in my thoughts and with a wardrobe full of colour.
So thank you ladies, aka Lady Jebley and Wifey I'd have to go a long way to find better friends than you.
