Attack from the Side

I have another blog aside of this one.  It is a blog where I have my opinions, my rants and my general meandering thoughts.  

Tonight though I have a rant that is best posted on here.  To like minded, like shaped people.  Hell, just people.

As a plus size person you get used to a certain number of comments, views, media perceptions, collective views etc about your size, your looks, your clothes.  In my case in general I am forming a "sod off if you don't like me" attitude, but there are still certain things that make it through the screen.

The first is an irritant.  You know the one, I'm sure that many of you have had the same comment, and it bugs the hell out of me.  "You're a pretty girl, just think how good you could look if you were thin".  I can never reply properly to these comments.  Mainly because what I want to reply in retort is just as bad, because I want to hurt back.

The second is the comments that hold you back from being what you want to be, look how you want to look.  Tonight for me it was someone looking at some red skinny jeans I had ordered.  The "look" up and down, along with the comment  of "Oh...... Well maybe if you wore a really long top over them".  

To be honest, I'm not sure on them myself having only recently talked myself into exploring more colourful options.  But thanks to that comment, my attitude is bugger you, I'm ordering and I will damn well work them!

I promise, tomorrow I will be back with a post full of pictures, and no rants.  

Coats - It's a Northern Thing

I love buying clothes.  Even when my wardrobe was a bottomless pit of black, I still got that excited feeling when a parcel had arrived full of clothes.  I've never been one for trying things on in a shop, there is nothing worse than walking into a changing room with a pile full of clothes, and then walking out again with them all when nothing fits.

The one item of clothing I truly hate buying though is coats.  Like Kaye says from TestyBrunette, not wearing coats or jackets is a northern thing.  If we can get away with not wearing one, we will.   This works twofold for me as I can never find the right coat that ticks all the boxes.

My old faithful long black wool coat finally reached the end of it’s life a couple of months ago (read I finally admitted that it needed to be thrown out) and my hand was forced into the search for a new coat.

Here is my criteria: mid length, fitted but not overly, a colour that will go with most things, stylish, ok for work but will look ok for weekends, accommodate the chest area so the girls don’t look twice as big, warm, ok for wet weather. 

Yes, I’m picky but I’ve had so many coats that have failed for one reason or another, usually because they look bloody awful and are the “I give up, I’ll buy this” coat.  I was determined this time that I would find my dream coat, or just go cold for the weather.

Armed with my wish list I looked through all the clothing websites and made a list of the coats I liked.  Then discounted half as being impractical or just wouldn’t suit me (read fine on a size 8, not on me).  Eventually through, I struck gold.

Savoir Classic Stone Mac - Very

This coat ticked every box on my wish list and then some. It can be found here and comes in either the stone colour which I bought or in black.

I love the stone colour of the coat which goes with so much and enables me to mix it up with different coloured scarfs and accessories.  Rain just seems to roll off it and it looks good (so far) with everything I have worn with it.

So if you are an office girl like me who likes to keep it stylish at the weekend (I never knowingly under dress) then this may be the coat for you! 

A Watched Kettle

I'm impatient. When I know that something big is coming, be it good or bad; I want it to happen now.

They say that a watched kettle never boils, well in this case it's the opposite. The red LED of my Blackberry is constantly flashing at me, be it a tweet, text or email but, like the 3 buses lined in a row, the one that you want is never there.

The one that I want is an email from university. The one with my score in for my first essay. I feel like someone who hasn't ridden a bicycle in years, very unsure and uncertain at first, but after that first ride you know you'll be ok.

In this case though, the bike ride is scored. It's a indication, in my head at least, as to whether going to university was a good idea after all.

It's the chance card on the Monopoly board. Will I pass go and carry on with the game or will I be sent to the dunce's jail.

I've probably got at least another week to wait before I have my answer. My head says everything will be fine, but the little voice in there is also whispering "Are you sure?".

Everyone around me tells me it will be fine, I've nothing to worry about. I can be told that 100 hundreds times and it won't make an iota of different to how I feel. What I want is someone to tell me it IS fine.

I hold myself to my own standards, what I expect is good enough from me. What I want is a clear pass. Anything less and I'll be heartbroken, however, anything more, and I will be ecstatic.

I will look at this post one day and laugh about how worried I was. How I practically ran to my phone every time it flashed. But I care. I won't apologise for that.

So come on now, Mr Tutor Man, it isn't nice to keep a lady waiting.