Gorgeously Ugly

Confidence and self worth.  Both are things that can be hard to find sometimes, but once you have them, don't ever let them go.

 

What has surprised me during my journey of rediscovering confidence, colourful clothes and self worth is when I have looked back on situations and looked at how I have reacted in them.  When people have said things to me, or in the case of a certain guy, who wanted me in private, but denied me in public.

 

The best way to deal with insults is of course to ignore them and realise that the people who say them are not worth your time, or your tears.  In the case of the opposite sex though, this can be harder to deal with.  What makes me angry was is not the fact of how he treated me, I've moved past that, but the fact I LET IT HAPPEN.

 

Over a longer time period than I would like to admit I went along with someone who would tell me I was gorgeous and sexy in private, but would deny that anything was happening, or had happened, between us when asked.  I went along with this.  YOU BLOODY IDIOT.

 

I'm writing this now and putting it up here because I think it is important to be said.  Because someone might read it and admit that they are in or have been in that relationship.  Anyone who treats you that way is not worth your time.  You are worth more than.  I am worth more than that.

 

I was as much to blame because I let it happen.  I had no confidence and clearly no self respect.  But I changed.   I started to read these sort of blogs and realised that it was ok to be who I am.  To look the way I look. 

 

In the end, the only person you can make you feel bad about yourself is you.  I look at the girl I was a year ago, all in black with no confidence to the girl I am today, happy, wearing bright red, confident and I smile.

Have the confidence.  There is a whole world out there waiting to be enjoyed.  It is worth the journey.

I Bought a Scarf & I Liked It

Hello!  Had a lot on recently and so not been able to blog.  Bad Vicky!

One of the things, actually maybe the only thing, I like about the colder weather coming in are the pretty scarves that you get to wear.  My preference has always been to get a coat in neutral or black so that you can wear scarves of all different colours and change up your look.

This week, I have bought my favourite ever scarf from Dorothy Perkins and can be bought here

When it comes to print, my top three are stars, skulls and animals.  This scarf has all three with the star print on one half of the scarf and skulls and butterflies on the other.  Because of the different designs on the scarf, you can pretty much style it any way you choose.  I've added a few pictures of the different looks you can get from it.

Test shot - looking like a zombie for some reason

Hi!

A simple tie in the middle

On one shoulder to jazz up a boring top

Twisty Twisty

Bandanna / headband / not sure what I was doing

 So there you go.  My new favour scarf, with a few different ways to wear it.

I wasn't paid to review this scarf from Dorothy Perkins, I just saw it, bought it and loved it enough to talk about it.

A Time for Joy

You know sometimes you have a day when everything around you is wrong and going badly?  When you can’t see a way forward and your mood is full of doom and gloom.  Well today isn’t that day.

Today is happiness.

I’ve posted previous about waiting for my first university essay to be marked.  After submitting 2 ½ weeks ago I have been full of trepidation, nerves and at times, sheer panic.  Had I answered the question correctly, would I pass; did I have enough examples; right through to have I made the right choice in doing a degree.

 The Open University scoring system is different to other universities. 

40%                 Pass

40 – 54            3^rd
55-69               2.2
70 – 84            2.1
85 – 100          1^st

There are the expectations that you have in your head and the ones that you will say aloud, and then the ones that you really want, but can’t say or think.

Aloud I said that I just wanted the pass and any mark thereafter would do, in my logical head I wanted a clear pass, a 2.2 mark.  I didn’t think that I could do any better than that on my first essay.  The little voice inside wanted a 2.1 mark.

Well today, the little voice won the bet.  I got 78% which is right in the middle of a 2.1.

Whilst it is only a very tiny step in the long road I have ahead in my degree, it has answered the question that is the most important to me.

Can I do this?  HELL YES I CAN.

Today is one to remember.