Repost

Foreword: I originally posted this blog a few days ago and then decided to delete, as it’s very personal and I wasn’t ready.

Then however I saw the cutting for Bieber hashtag last night on Twitter and was appalled.  Young girls cutting themselves for a celebrity to notice them, people making jokes about it, some even saying “Remember, down the stream not across the path”.  So now I’ve put the post back up.

Cutting isn’t the new cool thing.  Depression isn’t funny.  Just because you aren’t walking around with a broken bone doesn’t mean you’re not broken.

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Have you ever noticed that when you are having a dark day, people will try and make you feel better using the atypical “But think about this and this that is good in your life”….  Am I the only one that this irritates? 

I know that people mean well when they say these things, but isn’t it obvious that whatever it is that is making you sad (if you even know in the first place), has nothing to do with the good parts of your life, that’s there no connection?

Whilst I’m lucky enough not to be in it’s grips now, I’ve flirted with depression for many years.  There was a time in my early 20’s when I came very close.  Too close.  I was so completely unhappy.  I didn’t have the outlets to talk about it and not knowing why I was so unhappy, I didn’t see the point.  In anything.

Maybe if I’d had my blog then things may have been different.  This is my safe zone.  I can say whatever I want, even if I don’t know what I’m really saying until I read back an earlier post. 

Back then though, I didn’t have anything.  Already an inward person I turned in even more so.  I turned to cutting.  I don’t think it was even a conscious decision yet one day, the knife was in my hand.  It doesn’t help. It hurts, physically and emotionally.  You’ll never be quite the same person again.

It’s been years since I was that girl.  It took me years to realise that people will listen when you talk.  If you don’t talk about what hurts, it will always hurt you, or you will hurt yourself.  

I was lucky in that I don’t have any scars.  I still have my dark days, I admit to them freely but the helplessness has left me, along with the urge to cut.  I was lucky I didn’t have depression, which is and can be debilitating.  I was just very unhappy.

Ask for help.  People will always give it.  You are not as alone as you think you are.  Talk to someone, anyone, just talk.

I am not a Lemming

If you rounded up 10 people and individually asked them what their “type” was, I guarantee that you would get 10 different answers.

Tall or short, shy or outgoing; blonde or brunette; sports fan or film addict; plus size or model thin; silly or serious; the combinations are endless.  There is not one standard type for everyone.  We are not the human equivalents of Ken and Barbie.  We all have brains, and those brains are turned on by a variety of things.

My personal preference? Tall and confident.  Confidence to me is sexy.

What I want to know then is why when we all like different things, do people seem to love to pick others apart.  You’re too fat, you’re too thin; your nose is too big; you’re stupid; you’re too loud, you’re too quiet. 

Nobody is “too” anything.    You are you.  You are unique.  No one else is exactly like you, be it physically or emotionally.   Personally, I think that’s awesome.

I was asked this morning if I was going on a diet for my New Year’s Resolution.  The first thing that entered my head was to say “No, but are you going to save up for a nose job?”.  Luckily I didn’t say that, I just called them a ruder version of an idiot.

Our brains shouldn’t be wired in to insult others.  Mine went into attack mode this morning and I’m angrier about that than what the person said.  My first thought shouldn’t have been to insult back, it should have been to realise that if they are insulting others, trying to make them feel bad, it’s more likely that they feel bad about themselves.

We are individuals, with individual tastes.  We don't all look the same, nor think the same.  Why should we?  We should celebrate the differences between people, not fault them.

So that is my New Year’s resolution for this year.  To celebrate what is different about me. 

I am not a lemming. 

 

 

 

Christmas 2012

I've been particularly bad over the Christmas period as I fully intended to do various posts for my Christmas party outfits.  I managed to take a few photos, but mostly not of the best quality and not enough for a proper outfit post.

I didn't want the outfits to go to waste however, so have posted a few of the photographs anyway, I was too  "getting ready focused" at the time I think!

This is the one photo I remembered to take - my office party

Shoes are from Ravel - the bag is a from a craft sale

Gutted I didn't manage to take more photographs of this dress.  It's absolutely gorgeous and I felt so nice in it! Bought from the Mylene Klass range at Very.

Here are a couple from New Year's Eve.  The dress is a gorgeous jade green and was originally bought for my best friend's wedding a couple of year's ago.  Now thought I feel like it looks a little dated so may give it away, or do a blog sale, though not sure how to do that!

Finally, some lovelies I got from Santa this year, the laptop being a from me to me, a necessity when doing a degree and nothing to work on!

Barry M Glitter Polish & Marc Jacobs Oh Lola

Every girl needs a pamper box!

Flamingo print weekend bag from Next - I adore it!

In honour of the ruby red colour - she's named Dorothy

I hope you all have had a fantastic Christmas.  I am sure that your outfit posts will be better than mine! xx