Off With His Head!

Hello!  I'm happy to tell you that I am now involved in a fashion challenge!  I have been looking for one for a while now and after speaking to @BethTinkerbell on Twitter I am now a part of the Magnificent 7th.

We will be posting on the 7th of each month, and the aim of the challenge is to create an outfit to fit the theme, using clothes from our wardrobes, and yes that does mean digging deep into the depths and finding those long lost clothes! Hopefully one of us won’t end up in Narnia, but you never know with a bloggers wardrobe!

As you can tell, I'm more than a little late with this month's challenge but as I only joined this week, I hope I'm forgiven!  This month's theme is monochrome.

After doing a little shopping in my wardrobe I came across this heart print dress from @verynetwork in the @So_Fab_Clothing range.  I have put it together with a little red shrug that I bought from Next Inspire and also a red belt from @Asos.

Given the inclement weather we are experiencing I also added black opaque tights, my gorgeous black Hush Puppies shoes with heart cut outs and a heart necklace that I bought from a jewellery stall in a market.  

All in all, I felt that the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland and given the day I've had at work today, I was sorely tempted to chop off some heads.

Check out below what the other lovely ladies wore for this month's theme.

Beth http://tinkerbellandthelostgirls.blogspot.co.uk/

Kaye http://polishedcurves.wordpress.com/

Nicola http://www.nicolarelph.blogspot.co.uk/

Gail http://gailygumdrops.blogspot.co.uk/

Kirsty http://www.hellokirsty.blogspot.co.uk/

Mary http://marysbigcloset.blogspot.pt/

Kathryn http://misskathrynsmisstakes.blogspot.co.uk/

Steph http://seeingsp0ts.blogspot.co.uk/

Charley http://www.biggirlabouttown.blogspot.co.uk/

Rebecca http://sullen-hearts.blogspot.co.uk/

Lindsey http://http://linzerellofatshion.blogspot.co.uk/
Leah http://justmeleah.blogspot.co.uk/
Vicky http://www.thecurvedopinion.com/

Oh Yes, I Can!

I’m not very fond of the use of the word “can't” when it is being directed to someone else.  If I were to use it myself for example saying that “I can't ride a bike” (true!) what it generally implies that the person has tried something but is unable to do it for one reason or another. 

When you apply the word to someone else however, it is with the purpose, however well hidden, of restricting and controlling what they do.  You can’t do that, you’re female,  you can’t go there, this may happen, you can’t wear that, you’re fat.

That last one is something that I have been thinking about lately.  All the clothing do’s and don’ts that are inferred that somebody who is plus size should comply with; you can’t wear stripes, you can’t wear print, you can’t wear bright colours etc etc.   The never ending jibe of “black is very slimming you know”.  Well you know what, I love colour, I love print, I love everything about fashion and if I want to, I will damn well wear it!

Here are some of my favourite dresses that are around at the moment, all of which break “the rules” of what a fat girl should wear.  I never was one for rules anyway.  Which puts all these dresses on the top of my wishlist.

Cartoon Print Skater Dress

Busy pattern, bright colours, look at me dress, why not?

Lovedrobe Polka Dot Print Pleated Dress

Another busy print, up to the neck (an apparent no no for the larger chest) and pleating!

Blue Floral Skater Dress from Asos Curve

Floral, feminine and visible.  Yes please!

SimplyBe Enchanted Print Dress

This dress took my breath away.  I adore this dress.  

Convention would say I can't wear it, I say.... I've just ordered it

So there you have it.  Four dresses that society says I "can't" wear.  One of which I have ordered already (post to follow) and the rest will stay on my wishlist.

What do you wear that convention says you shouldn't?

Waiting for the Cast to Set

I think that it was Joan Didion that said “I write to find out what I think”.  That is something that applies to me.  I have learnt so much of what I really think by just typing away, letting my fingers do the talking and seeing what comes out.

I’ve just realised that sentence could be completely misconstrued as something dirty.  But you know what I meant.  Carrying on!

What I learned today is that whilst you find out what you think when you write, when you read you are sometimes forced to face up to things that you already know.  I read the fabulous @archedeyebrow post today On the Flipside and I have to admit that it broke me a little bit.

One thing that resonated with me completely was the line “If you’ve grown up fat, you’ve grown up knowing no one will ever want you”.

Whilst I have made leaps and bounds in my confidence in so many ways, when it comes to the opposite sex and relationships, I’m still the girl that wants to hide away.  The invisible “F off” that I wrote about in The Sign on Your Head is still a part of me. 

Because I’ve been working so hard on confidence in my personality and confidence in what I wear, that part I’ve allowed to just fester in the shadows. 

I think the thing that exasperates me the most is that at heart, I know the way I feel is my own fault.  The reason I have been single over the years, apart from the fact that I live in a small town, is that invisible “Get lost” on my forehead. 

My presumption that no one will be interested, or if they were, wouldn’t want to admit it in public has taken over years of my life and has stopped any potential relationships, except toxic ones.  It has to stop.  I don’t want to feel like that anymore.  But it’s me that has to make the change.  I’m just afraid.

Now the issue has been highlighted once again, I can try to start to change the way I think.  What helps is that by reading other people’s experiences I know that I am not on my own and it isn’t just me that thinks this way.

It is up to ourselves to mould and shape the person that we want to be and for some of us, it just takes a little longer for the cast to set.