When I
didn’t have any confidence, what I had instead was a self
preservation system in place that would have rivaled Fort Knox with
the thickness of the walls around me. In the main I kept myself
“safe” from harm by keeping everyone away, but the lone assassin
could easily walk through the gates and hurt me.
Now I’ve
found confidence, the walls are down and in their place is what I
would describe as a firewall. Invisible to the eye, a thin layered
deflector that is my personality which negativity just bounces off.
Like any
firewall, occasionally malware can get through but unlike the walls
that you previously built which had to be rebuilt higher and
stronger, with a firewall, you can just reboot and run antivirus. In
order words, anti-idiot.
In the
weird world that is my head this is what I run through when I hear a
rude comment or something hurtful. I roll my eyes, run “anti-idiot”
and my firewall bounces back the comment through a little “screw
you” spark in my eyes.
Promoting
confidence in others is something that is becoming more and more
important to me. You can have confidence at any size. It isn’t
about promoting a certain weight, it’s about having self worth,
self confidence and the knowledge that if people insult you, that is
their problem, not yours.
I always
wanted to have the confidence to wear bright colours and patterns and
now I wear them everyday. My main goal when it comes to clothing was
to be able to wear a red dress. I have a thing about red and have
red lipsticks, red handbags, red shoes, but have never had the
confidence to wear a red dress.
Now the warm weather is here and I'm wearing my red dress from +Simply Be Apologies for the self photos but I wanted to get out in the sunshine!