I love to rant. Really love it. I find it a really good way to get something off my chest and I always feel better afterwards. There are a variety of rants on this blog about subjects that have warranted it. I don't rant at people of course; that is just plain rude!
The thing with ranting of course is that it is spur of the moment thing, not done to order. So what I will do instead is share with you a previous rant that I have had on the blog.
The title is What Does a Daily Mail Reader Look Like?
I was going to just put the link, but will copy out the text here so I am not having you clicking all over the internet.
If I were
asked to think of someone who I would like to physically resemble, I would have
said Rachel Weisz. But now I’ve changed
my mind. I want to look like a Daily
Mail reader, specifically, one who writes some of the comments.
Now the elusive Daily Mail reader has never been
seen out in the open. From comments made
though we can begin to deduce what they must look like.
Here’s a profile:
Facial
Features
Given various comments made with regard to “huge
nose”, “needs plastic surgery”, “would need a bag over their head to be
attractive” “ugly”, “disgusting to look at” etc etc it can only be deduced that
the Daily Mail reader has perfect features, albeit features that would not be so
perfect as to be labelled “too bloody good looking for their own good” or “vain”
or “must be a slut”.
Body
Again, after perusal of the comments it is
impossible to accurately guess the size and weight of a Daily Mail reader, other
than it is “just right”. Things
therefore that cannot be said about a Daily Mail reader’s body are “you need to
eat more pies love” “Fetch a harpoon” “Must have had a boob job” “Tits like a
sparrow”, “disgusting” “intolerable” “can’t even look at” “a bad role model”
etc.
As with the facial features however, we must also
note that the Daily Mail reader’s body cannot be so perfect as to then be
described as “whore” “vain” “who the hell does she think she is” “must have had
plastic surgery”.
Given the above, I have finally come to a decision
of what the Daily Mail reader looks like.
EVERYONE
ELSE.
No one has the perfect face. No one has the perfect body. No one has any right to criticise the way
that someone else looks.
So whilst I cannot accurately describe the physical
features of a Daily Mail reader, their personality traits should be seen from a
mile away. Look out for rude, obnoxious,
insecure, under confident and, if one of them ever reads this, probably angry
and already writing a comment below of how I should lose weight, wear a bag over
my head, live in a hole underground so I can’t be seen and hold up a sign
apologising for the way I look.
Check out the other ladies in the challenge and see what they are ranting about!
