Sticks & Stones May Break My Bones

Day 25, Saturday: Something someone told you about yourself that you'll never forget (good or bad)

At the ripe old age of 34, I feel that I know myself pretty well. I have good and bad traits just like anyone else and I try my best to work at the bad ones.

During a, let’s say parting of ways, with a friend he told me that I was an immoral and a two faced person. At the time and for a good while afterwards this really hurt me as I don’t honestly believe that I am either of those things, but the fact that those words were chosen completely made me question myself and the way I act to others.

My friends mean the absolute world to me and I have always tried my ultimate best to be a good friend.

Eventually I was convinced by the people closest to me that what he said wasn’t true, and that it was more intended probably to hurt me than anything else. Which was a success because it did really hurt me and is something I won’t forget.

What I ended up realising is that whilst I have changed a lot from the person he used to know, all my steps have been in relation to moving forward and having confidence to be the person that I am.  He was changing himself to be the person he thought that someone else wanted. He isn’t the person I used to know either.

I didn’t hurl abuse back and didn’t say the things I wanted.  I won’t now either.  The friendship may be over but I know that on my part it was ended with dignity and not insult and name calling. 

I may always remember it, because it marked the end of a friendship spanning over 15 years, but the words no longer hurt me.  I don’t believe in looking back anymore.

Check out the other ladies in this challenge x

Claire http://lifeonadifferentlevel.blogspot.co.uk/

Felicity http://felicityhart.blogspot.co.uk/ 

Karen http://toodulltoblog.blogspot.co.uk/ 

Kaye http://www.polishedcurves.com 

Lisa http://lookingforlisa.blogspot.co.uk/ 

Mary http://channellingliz.wordpress.com/ 
Mhairi http://www.lilybobombslovelylumps.com/ 

Natalie http://awheelbarrowfullofstyle.blogspot.co.uk 
Nikki http://nattynikki.com 

Steph http://seeingsp0ts.blogspot.co.uk/ 
Verena http://APlusSizeFashionObsession.blogspot.co.uk 

Vicky http://TheCurvedOpinion.com

Cracking the Heart Open

Day 24 - Your 3 Worst Traits

Everyone has bad traits. You can either work on them or embrace them, I am trying to work on mine.

Impatience

I have infinite amount of patience when it comes to waiting for things. Be it waiting for a long planned event or waiting for a long delayed bus to arrive, it doesn’t bother me in the slightest. Where impatience catches me out is when I am trying to teach someone to do something. If they don’t understand immediately I am instantly irritated. I have been actively working on this and am trying to improve.

Too Trusting

I wander around in the world with my heart on a plate. Like the Ood in Doctor Who, I automatically put my trust in people, give them my loyalty and once you are a good friend of mine; you get a little piece of my heart too.

For the most part this works well in a friendship and I have some absolutely amazing best friends whom I adore. It also works against me because I have had heartbreak when I have invested my emotions in people who weren't worth them.

Finally, the one I can't shake.....

Presumption

I was reading today the brilliant blog of Callie Thorpe From the Corners of the Curve She was talking about when she met her boyfriend and she presumed that he was a “chubby chaser” and it was only upon seeing a photograph of his ex size 8 girlfriend that she really believed that he loved her for being her. The whole of her.

That is what I want. My head and my heart both presume I can't have it. I walk into a room and I automatically presume that any men in that room wouldn't fancy me, wouldn't want to spend time with me; wouldn't want to be seen with me, would be embarrassed. I can't shake it.

I am much more confident than I used to be. I wear my clothes with confidence now and my head is raised a little higher than before. I have self esteem and self respect. I don't cross the road now when I see a group of people.

Except when thoughts of the opposite sex come into play. Then I am back to square one. Where I am still the girl that moved away from a date at the bar when his friends appeared, in case he would be embarrassed to be seen with me. I'm 34 for fuck's sake. I need to shake this feeling or I really will be alone forever.

No by the way, I don't need a man to “complete me”. But it would be kind of nice not to walk through all the days of my life with just me.

What the hell is it about blogging that makes you just slice your heart open and pour it onto a page? It is quite cathartic for me in some ways, but then you read something back at the later date and you can't quite believe that you were quite that open.

So there you go...... Day 24 of the #30DayBloggerChallenge.... It's surprising what comes out of your head when you start typing on a page....

Check out the other ladies, hopefully their traits will be a little more amusing than mine!!

Beth http://tinkerbellandthelostgirls.blogspot.co.uk/ 
Claire http://lifeonadifferentlevel.blogspot.co.uk/

Karen http://toodulltoblog.blogspot.co.uk/ 

Kaye http://www.polishedcurves.com 

Laura http://laurapantslifestyle.blogspot.co.uk/ 
Lisa http://lookingforlisa.blogspot.co.uk/ 

Mhairi http://www.lilybobombslovelylumps.com/ 

Natalie http://awheelbarrowfullofstyle.blogspot.co.uk 
Nikki http://nattynikki.blogspot.com 

Steph http://seeingsp0ts.blogspot.co.uk/ 
Verena http://APlusSizeFashionObsession.blogspot.co.uk 

Vicky http://TheCurvedOpinion.com

It's a Hard Knock Life

Day 23 - What You Have Learned that School Didn't Teach You

I have gained many things in my life that were not as a result of what I was taught in school.  The "School of Life" has taught me many things.

Working from the age of sixteen has taught me a good work ethic.  I may not have been to college or university but that doesn't make me stupid.  I just chose to take a different path.  I have been employed full time for seventeen years now and am proud of where I have reached.

In school you are allotted into your groups.  Be it cool, geeks, goths or emo, or whatever was around when you were at school, you are automatically morphed into a pack and that is where you stay.  Individuality is frowned upon and doing things just because your friends do it is the norm.

I am proud of the fact that I am not a lemming.  I do what I want and am not afraid to say what I think.  I actually think that the sheep mentality that the public gets can be downright dangerous.  A person on their own is intelligent; a group seems to get progressively less intelligent the more members are added.

I could add more things, but this post is in dangerous of turning into a rant, and that is another day!

Check out the other ladies and what school didn't teach them.

Beth http://tinkerbellandthelostgirls.blogspot.co.uk/ 
Claire http://lifeonadifferentlevel.blogspot.co.uk/

Emma http://www.meetthemillards.co.uk/ 

Felicity http://felicityhart.blogspot.co.uk/ 
Karen http://toodulltoblog.blogspot.co.uk/ 

Kaye http://www.polishedcurves.com 

Laura http://laurapantslifestyle.blogspot.co.uk/ 
Lisa http://lookingforlisa.blogspot.co.uk/ 

Mary http://channellingliz.wordpress.com/ 
Mhairi http://www.lilybobombslovelylumps.com/ 

Natalie http://awheelbarrowfullofstyle.blogspot.co.uk 
Nikki http://nattynikki.blogspot.com 

Steph http://seeingsp0ts.blogspot.co.uk/ 
Toni http://theonlywayistoni.blogspot.co.uk/ 

Verena http://APlusSizeFashionObsession.blogspot.co.uk 
Vicky http://TheCurvedOpinion.com