Great Expectations

First, a Very Long Foreword 

I wrote this post a couple of weeks ago, before the veritable shitstorm that happened and is still happening on Twitter in what seems to be escalating into a full out war between men and women.

Putting my two pence worth in, in relation to the banning lad’s mags, do I want them banned?  As long as women are happy to be paid to pose in them and men want to read them, carry on as far as I am concerned.

Lads mags have been around for decades and no children’s minds have been warped as a result of seeing a naked/half naked body on the front of a cover. 

Both men’s and women’s bodies are splayed over countless magazines in various forms of dress and undress and all telling you how the “ideal body” should be.  All magazines show images of how we are “supposed” to look and banning lad’s magazines won’t do a damn thing.

If you don’t like a magazine, don’t buy it.  Censorship of what we see and think is already up on the up, let’s not help it.  If you object to the magazines purely for prudish reasons, then I suggest you simply don't buy them and avert your eyes. 

 

With regard to the absolutely horrendous abuse that Caroline Craido Perez and others have been experiencing this week, the level of rape and death threats have astounded me.  It is easy to say "just block and report" to someone, but how is that even possible when at one point she was receiving upwards of 50 threats AN HOUR.

I applaud Caroline for not staying quiet and for instead, shouting back.  Staying quiet in the face of abuse never solved anything. 

This isn't men v women or visa versa.  Women don't hate all men and not all men are rapists.  We are talking about a small section of the population here who are throwing abuse.  It needs to be dealt with, but talks of things like a Twitter strike isn't the way forward.  I am not sure what is.  Whether a “report” button will work on Twitter, I have my doubts as it could quite clearly work in the troll’s favour too.

Back to my original post

What I have wrote below has long been society’s view of women, and in society I include men and women because we are accountable in some ways for views and assumptions that are still maintained.

So here is what I originally wrote:

Sometimes I think that we pass through life with one person after another imposing on you who you should be, what you should look like, what you should wear, what is appropriate to say, do, think.  Everyone has an opinion and sometimes, your opinion seems to be at the bottom of the pile.

What I was thinking about today was how much of that have we assimilated?  Are we drinking the Kool Aid of what we should and shouldn’t do, say, think, be?

Some of it is what society tells us, some is passed down through our families and some through popular culture.  I was always told for example (from various sources) that “A lady doesn’t swear” .  Well fuck that.

Recently Joanna Lumley told us that women shouldn’t wear provocative clothing… Although I think she worded it as “Silly girls in silly dresses”.  Victim blaming is nothing new, and it comes from both sexes.

If you think about all the things that women are supposed to be and do, the list is quite astonishing.  In more than one corner of the world, all of them will be said to you or be presumed of you at some point.

A lady shouldn’t swear.
If you wear provocative clothing, you are “asking for it”.
Dress conservatively and you will classed as matronly or an old maid.
You must conform with society’s version of attractive.
A lady should be quiet, subservient, well spoken.
Be a lady in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom.
“Putting out” on the third date is expected.
Remember: No man will buy the cow if he’s getting the milk for free.
You must remain perfectly groomed at all times.
All woman want children.  If you don’t there is is something wrong with you.
A man shouting “Nice tits, can I cop a feel” at you across the street should be replied with a smile not a rebuke.
You can have control of your own body, but only if society says that you can.
Be thin.  If you aren’t then any abuse you receive is your own fault.
Be a “good” girl (whatever that is).  Nice guys don’t marry bad girls.

 The list goes on and on and on.  I can’ listen anymore because it is getting depressing.   How many of you have heard had many of the above said or applied to you.  I certainly have.  You cannot possibly be all of these things all at the same time.  It's possible.  So let's not be.

It’s for change ladies.   It’s time to rip up the goddamn rule book and do things our way. 

“The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.”

― Coco Chanel

OMCZ 12

I have been seeing this challenge popping up regularly and always love the different styles and ideas that have been used.  I cheekily contact Steph who is now organising the challenge and asked her if I could join.

From what I understand about the challenge, the idea  is for each post to have something that is pushing our comfort zone.   This post’s subject was chosen by Emma of Meet The Millards and she has chosen the Bohemian look.

I have never worn the boho look before, not really knowing if it would suit me or even if i had anything that remotely fit the bill.  I dived into the back of my wardrobe however and I think I have managed it ok.

 

The dress is from Joanna Hope although I am not sure where I purchased it from.  The gold sandals are Hush Puppies from +Very.co.uk and the earrings were a sale bargain in +Dorothy Perkins 

Check out the other ladies who are pushing their comfort zone.

Dear Readers

 

Day 27 – A Letter to My Readers

Hello.   First of all, I have to say how amazing it is that I actually have readers at all.  It still astonishes me that someone would take time out of their day to read something that I have written, and even more; bother to comment.

I want to say is thank you.  Thank you for reading and thank you for anyone who leaves a comment.  I am going to use the well over used phrase here, that bugs the hell of me on reality TV shows but, you have NO IDEA how much it means to me.

From the start of writing this blog I have grown into the person I always wanted to be, but was too scared to be.  I have battled many demons, from old issues, to confidence, to feeling secure and happy in myself.  I'm not quite there yet but I am definately getting there.

I am on the right path now and am excited to see where the road takes me.  Hell, I’m even modelling in Plus North in September, something that at this time last year I never thought possible.

The writing on this blog may be mine, but the positive comments and encouragement from the people who read it are what have spurred me onwards.   Not all comments have been posted on the blog, some have been said to me via Twitter too, and in person via people who I never even thought would be interested in my blog.  All of these have been so important to me.

So THANK YOU.  Really thank you.  Because each positive comment has given me what every person needs in their life, confidence, and hope.