A Slippery Slope

When life gets busy or times get stressful, taking care of yourself can often be at the bottom of your list, if indeed you even make the list. You feed and water yourself and live your life on basic instinct, but often do you feel stop and take a minute to assess how you are feeling?

Neglecting yourself emotionally can be just as damaging as anything that you can do to your body physically. If you already have existing issues such as anxiety or depression, it can be a dangerously slippery slope if you do not look ahead.  You can find a psychologist online.

This is something that I have realised recently. These past six months have been rough; but my mental health is not something that has been on my radar. Actually when I say that, I am lying. It has been on my radar, sometimes with a very large red flashing warn sign, but I have ignored it; choosing to focus on bigger issues.

Sweeping aside these feelings has not really worked out for me so well.

I like stability. If I can make a plan, I am happy. Whilst I have a habit of making snap decisions sometimes, you had better bet that the outcomes are planned to the nth degree. I have my coping mechanisms for my anxiety and I know how to hunker down during a dark day. Unplanned issues and long term uncertainty do not fit well with who I am.

These are core aspects of my personality, hardwired in and hard to change. When things out of my control mess with my hardwiring, I am sent into a tailspin.

My unconscious way of dealing with that was to withdraw inward. I stopped calling my friends to catch up, I rarely went out on a weekend and my ability to say yes to invitations was practically non-existent. My blog also suffered, my motivation and inspiration were just not there anymore. Aside from going to work, I just wanted to be in my house and not go anywhere.

Can you see where this is going yet? Because I didn't.

Over the Christmas break, I had managed to book holidays from work meaning that I had around 11 days off. Nearing the end of my time off, during which I had only been out of the house once, I had event planned. Nothing major, just drinks and a catch up with friends at someone's house.

The day of the party arrived and suddenly, unexpectedly; I was terrified. It was not that I did not want to go, I was really looking forward to it in fact, but I did not want to leave the house. My safe space. My head was spinning, thinking of excuses that I could use not to go. My anxiety levels were spiking and I felt like I was in sheer panic.

It was at that point that the lightbulb went off in my head and I realised that my self preservation mode had lead me to a very dark place. A place where going outside even seemed like a bad thing.

I forced myself to go that night from sheer will, a will that has gotten me through many things over the years. I have started to say yes more and am no longer scared to leave the house; a feeling that I did not even know was there, until it reared its ugly head.

Today I am happy. My life is returning to more of an even keel and I am planning outings and events as much as I can. It is my birthday this weekend and have two fun nights out planned. I am back to my old self.

It is a while since I have shared something so deeply personal here. But I feel that it is important to do so because it shows just how close you can come to the edge, without ever realising that you are balancing on the edge of a precipice, where only you can pull yourself back.

No matter what is going on in your life, take the time to take care of yourself. Look for warning signs and do not ignore that red flashing light on your radar. It is important for us all to take care of the people around us, deal with bad situations well and look for that silver lining; but just as important is to take care of ourselves.

Counting the Pennies

When you are on a tight budget, it is important not to just look for places where you can cut costs, but also to learn to spend intelligently.

During the Winter months all of our household bills go up. The lights go on more, the heating goes on, endless cups of tea and coffee; it all adds up. Your next energy bill arrives and the price has suddenly gone through the roof.

When appliances break down or need changing, be it a faulty kettle or that washing machine you have had for ten years now; choosing their replacement should be a decision made with not just your current cashflow in mind, but also your future bills.

These days there are so many products on the market that are energy efficient which are both good for the environment, and your pocket.

For example, the Energy Saving Trust tells us that in the UK we waste 68 million a year by overfilling our kettles. Every time you boil a full kettle, that costs you 2.5p. Applying that to a standard family household, boiling a full kettle 10 times a day, that is 22.5p. That is ₤80.00 per year, just boiling your kettle.

Whilst buying a cheap ₤10.00 kettle might look good for your purse now, if you spent ₤40.00 on an an energy efficient kettle which lets you choose exactly how much water to boil, even when it is full to brim; in the long run, that more expensive kettle is going to save you money.

This principle can be applied all around your home. Energy saving lightbulbs, draught excluders to hold heat in and save energy. Appliances like the Panasonic Washing Machines which you can find here can detect the load amount and adjust the amount of water and power needed accordingly which again saves you money.

Put all of those ideas into play and you can really start to make a saving on your energy bills, which frees up money for the more important things in life. A day out with your family, a catch up night out with a friend. In the end, it is as your grandma used to tell you:

*Published in conjunction with Panasonic

My Inspirational Mum

Mothers Day is just around the corner.  With this in mind, Great Rail Journeys are currently running a competition to win a trip to Bruges for yourself and your mum.  

To enter, you need to:

• Write a blog post about why you're thankful for your mum and saying why she deserves to win this Mothers' Day trip.
• Tweet the blog post to @greatrail including the #GRJMothersDay to confirm your entry.

This is my competition entry.

My mum is the quintessential bubbly blonde.  At 74 years of age, she looks 15 years younger, with a fashion sense to match.  Unlike many of her peers, there are no grey haired perms and twin sets for her; my mum has always looked glamorous and always will.

My mum and I are quite similar characters in that we are both daft as a brush and we giggle at the drop of a hat.  We both enjoy good food, good times and a drop of something to put a sparkle in your eye. 

They say that you really see the mettle of someone in times of adversity and hardship.  That is certainly the case with my mum.

When my step dad fractured his spine nearly 6 months ago, we never dreamed that he would still be in hospital now.  Unable to drive, my mum has had to rely on lifts from family and getting the bus, visiting him nearly every day for the first few months, at a hospital some 30 miles away from home.  Even now, nearly 6 months on and finally at a hospital closer to home, she still visits 3-4 times a week.

My step dad's journey has been fraught with complications and through it all; my mum has been a tower of strength.  A long stay in hospital is hard but my mum has tried everything to make that stay a little easier.  Pouring hundreds of pounds into the hospital television, taking in home cooked meals, sourcing all his favourite films on DVD and finding the cowboy Western books he loves so much for him to read.

While my mum may still look like a spring chicken, life without her partner at her side has been hard.  Losing that day-to-day companionship and having her world turned upside has not been easy but she still has not lost that sparkle in her eye. 

I am thankful for my mum because she inspires me in so many different ways and I can only hope when I reach her age that I look as good as she does, with as much energy for life as she continues to have.