Summer Sandals - The No Budget Edition

Whilst writing my Summer Sandals Essentials Guide last week, my eyes could not help be drawn to the more expensive shoes and sandals sections.

If you decide to treat yourself to a pair of designers shoes, my tip would always be to chose something classical and not to complex.  You don't after all want to spend hundreds of pounds on a pair of shoes, only to find that they only go with one outfit!

These are my favourites sandals that I have been looking at over the past week, all of which could fit into any wardrobe whilst still eluding a sense of style of glamour.

Michael Kors £55.00

I just adore these Michael Kors Sandals.  They would be perfect to show off your summer tan and add a touch of bling to your outfit. 

Southaven - £119.00

These sandals are a classic strappy style with a manageable heel, given a cool edge with the vibrant orange colour.  These will look fantastic with a black dress, or something clashing if you are feeling adventurous.

Swedish Hasbeens £149.00

I love these shoes so much I cannot even tell you.  They aren't particularly stylish or up to the minute fashionable, but anyone who has ever loved the Mary Jane combined with a 50s sense of style will love these shoes as much as I.

J Crew - £360.00

Now we are getting into the pricier end of the market.  I love the simple style of these sandals, jazzed up with the sequinned heels and strap.  You could wear these sandals with lots of different neutral tones.

Alaia £750.00

Last, but not least, the most expensive pair of sandals I am showing you today.  Classic, stylish, expensive yes, but absolutely beautiful.  These are the pair that you save for.  What is more, you could wear these shoes with any evening outfit for years to come. 

What are your favourite pair?

Living & Sleeping with Arthritis

My mum was first diagnosed with osteo arthritis around 25 years ago.

I have seen her condition progress over the years and the various treatments that she has tried during that time; right through to having partial and full knee replacements.

Over the years, I have picked up on many tips and tricks to help you live with arthritis that I thought that I would share with you today.

Acupuncture
Do not be afraid of trying out alternative therapies.  When my mum was first diagnosed, she suffered with pain in both hands and both knees.  After a course of acupuncture, the arthritis in both her hands disappeared, never to return.  You can read more about how acupuncture can help in this link

A Good Night's Sleep

Getting a good night's sleep is essential when you are suffering with pain every day.    Buying a bed that is best suited to your needs can help to alleviate pain whilst you are trying to sleep and will provide you with much needed rest to deal with the following day.  Try out an adjustable bed or one which provides massage support such as NHD Cylco Therapy which is designed to help with conditions such as arthritis.

Source: Heritage Bed

Help

Do not be afraid to ask for help when you need it.  Some days will be good, some days will be bad; but having family/friends there to offer help and support when you need it is invaluable.  Be realistic about what you can accomplish and if you realise you need help with something, ask.  

Medical Options

Do not be afraid to go to the doctors and your specialists and ask what might alleviate symptoms. My mum for example used to get the fluid drained out of her knees in a short procedure at the hospital, arranged through her consultant and this reduced her pain for some months at a time.

Surgery

When it comes to having surgery, such as a knee replacement, wait as long as you can.  Remember, a full knee replacement lasts around ten years, so the older you are when you have the surgery, the fewer operations you will have to undergo.

My  mum is now 75 and after having had arthritis for over 25 years, she now has two full knee replacements.  The horrendous pain she used to suffer is gone and she can do things now that she could not do for a decade.  She can even break into a little jog! 

You can find a e-book about Living & Sleeping with Arthritis here

Description of a Dark Day

I'm at the start of a dark day.  I can feel it.  The darkness, sweeping in, avoidable; like the tide coming in on a beach.

If you have never suffered from depression, it is hard to understand.  I am lucky.  I get these days, rather than weeks or months.  They happen now and again and they do not affect my life, much.  I am thankful for that.

Earlier in my life, I went through a couple of years experiencing the darkness of depression.  I would not wish  it on anyone.  So I am thankful.  Because I know how bad it can feel.

But, this is not the point of this post.  The point is how to explain what a dark day feels, to someone who doesn't understand depression.  How you can have been having a fantastic day and then suddenly, it hits.  The swift downward spiral.  The way the next day, I am back to myself.

So let me try and explain.  *This is only from my view point.  How I feel.  What I experience.  It is different for everyone.

A deep seated sadness overwhelms you.  There is no rhyme or reason.  You could have been having the best day in the world. and then it hits.  

Your heart hurts.  Your soul hurts.  Fot that time, you question whether you are really happy at all.  Whether your life is just a mask to cover the hurt that is overwhelming you.  You cry. A lot. 

You are scared.  That maybe this time. the pain will stick.  That you will get stuck in this world of hurt.  That you cannot escape.  

You are angry.  Because the day before, you were happy.  Maybe even an hour before.  A minute. There is no logic behind it and for a logical person like me, this infuriates you.  You want to break it down and rationalize how you are feeling.  But you cannot rationalize depression.

It is the kind of pain where you feel that nothing can save you.  Your head is a black hole and you are falling down it; desperately trying to grab hold of something to stop your descent, but nothing is there.  

You feel guilty.  So guilty.  Especially if you are normally happy.  If you have a great life.  You see so much suffering in the world and you think to yourself "Why do I feel like this?  Others have truly terrible lives." That you are somehow indulging in a first world, inconsequential thing.  Except it isn't inconsequential.

Again I say that I am lucky.  Because when I had my couple of years of this, I understood why people tried to hurt themselves.  Cut themselves in order to feel.  Because I did it myself.  I am lucky because what I did, didn't leaves scars.  Yet again though. I feel guilty.  Because if I had truly wanted to hurt myself, there would be scars.  Feeling guilty because my pain did not leave a mark, Fucked up, isn't it?

You develop mechanisms of coping.  You try to shield those around you from it.  Because you know they will never truly understand.  You tell yourself "Just get through this day and you will be ok".

So here I sit, typing away, telling you how my dark day feels.  It is late.  I am hopeful that tomorrow, the darkness will be gone.  I am riding that wave, the rise and fall of pain that makes you want to curl into a ball and block the world. 

But that is ok.  You are allowed to block out the world.  As long as, when you are ready, you come back it.

This is my explanation of my dark day.  Like I said, it is different for everyone.  But for those who do not experience it, but know those who do: you cannot help them.  But you can understand.  You can give them a hug.  Let them deal with it. the way they know how to; but watch for the signs that it is overwhelming them.

Depression does not define who I am.  It is a part of me that I deal with, but it does not rule me.  Have compassion.  Do not judge us.  That is all we ask.