Get The Most of Your Vacations

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I realised last month after my best friend's anniversary that I had not been abroad for six years. The last time was her wedding in Cyprus. This has been due to a lack of planning as much as a lack of funds.

The thing about travel is that it can be pretty expensive, so it’s best to get as much as you can out of it as you can. In one of my previous posts I talked about wanting to go on a holiday alone next year. This has now progressed into possibly visiting a few different areas (or countries!) during a couple of weeks time period. This is something that I really, really want to go and as such, I have been doing a lot of research.

The thought of travelling alone is both terrifying and exhilarating to me and I want to ensure that I am have the best time possible. Here are some of the tips that I have been picking up to plan a travelling trip in the best way - ensuring that you get the most possible out of it.

Do your research

When people talk about doing research before travelling, they’re usually thinking of the sort of research you do when you’re building an itinerary. Going on Yelp to find local businesses, looking at Google Maps to find the routes you need, et cetera. But the sort of research that really helps you get to know a place on a deeper level can involve reading more about the history of the destination, or even reading fiction from its writers. Visit travel blogs that have odd anecdotes about vacations in the area are worth a read! These things help you get a feel for the culture before you arrive, which can increase your empathy and sensitivity once you’re at the destination.

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Don’t build a hectic schedule

One of the most common mistakes with any sort of vacation is the building of a really busy itinerary. People think of all the attractions they’d possible want to see then create a day-by-day, even hour-by-hour schedule to make sure they can fit it all in. But not only are these itineraries pretty hard to stick to most of the time, but it also puts you in a bit of a rush when you’re there. This, of course, is a mistake. To get to know a place much more, you should really slow things down. Less is more when it comes to itineraries; spend more time at your chosen destinations, and allow for some leeway so that you don't see just the touristy things, but nothing about the area or its people.

Interact with the locals more

If you really want to get to know a place as much as possible, then is there really a better way of doing it than by spending more time with the locals. If you’re visiting a foreign country, then this may mean that you have to learn a bit of the local language. (Don’t just assume they’re going to know how to speak English, even if you’re going somewhere like Germany or France!) If you have the time, then see if they’re willing to share interesting stories about their lives in this place. At the very least, you should be able to get recommendations for places to visit that the guidebook doesn’t even mention. Speaking of which…

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Don’t rely on the net for all your info

One of the reasons why speaking to the locals is such a good practice is that you’ll get more suggestions of places to visit, or a better feel of where the locals like to eat and drink. A lot of people rely too heavily on the Internet for this sort of information. That five-star review on Yelp tells you a lot less about a given place than you might think - and the same goes for a one-star review! Another reason that the Internet can be a little unreliable is that most people end up going directly to a business’s website to find out more about it. This doesn’t always give you the most balanced and fair view of the place.

Personally I never rely on sites like TripAdvisor or Yelp because every single person has different wants, needs and preferences. Someone's version of a perfect place might be another's version of hell!

Get yourself a guide

A lot of people are put off of the idea of getting a guide, or going on tours, because it seems to impose some sort of strict schedule on them. But if you’re going somewhere fairly exotic or adventurous, or even if you’re simply going to a city where you don’t know the language all that well, then hiring a guide might help you see much more of your destination. Don’t assume that guides all work on commission for nearby tourist spots - many of them will be multilingual locals who are pretty much willing to aid you in whatever you fancy doing. There are a lot of other reasons to hire a guide on vacation, but the potential to learn much more about your destination is definitely one of the most important.

For myself, I think that this would be better if there are a few of you travelling together. On a solo holiday you might feel like you had hired a friend for the day!

Go solo

I am told (and I hope) that people really do underestimate how good solo travelling can be. Whether it’s because of a lack of independence, fear of safety, or even financial constrictions, most people simply don’t consider the idea of going to a new destination without a trusted friend or family member.

But a solo adventure actually forces you to come out of your shell and interact more with the place around you. This is what I want. It helps you feel a lot more familiar with the location much faster, because you’re simulating the experience of simply wandering around just like you might do at home.

There are businesses like Just You - Solo Travel that provide packages and plans for those who don’t quite know how to go about it and need a little help. In general, solo adventuring is one of the best ways to get the most out of your vacation - so don’t dismiss it!

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Keep the camera in your pocket

Don’t see most of your vacation through a camera lens, or through the screen of your smartphone. I’m not saying don’t take pictures - because you absolutely should - but your first instinct when you see something astonishing shouldn’t be to reach into your pocket. This actually alienates you from the experience somewhat; it forces you out of that immediacy and turns you into a different type of observer. Really take the time to look at things with your naked eyes; this is where the priceless moments of any vacation are found.

As an example of this, last year I saw someone say that they had missed the experience of their child seeing Disneyland for the first time, because she was so concentrated on getting the right photograph to capture the image. In doing that, she missed the moment.

Look first, take photograph later!



*Collaborative piece

Create The Illusion of a Bigger Bathroom

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Oh to have a bathroom like that. Ours is ultra tiny and we are always trying out new ways to make the space look bigger and create more room. If you have an ensuite bathroom, then you're very lucky. There is something so elegant and suave about having your very own bathroom.

Like with a regular family bathroom. if it's a little smaller than what you wanted though, don't splash the cash on expanding it right away, as there are many different tricks that you can do in order to make it appear a lot bigger than it actually is.

Here are a few things that we have tried out.

Use the same floor and walls

Whether you prefer a tiled finish with marble, or maybe wood is more your style - whatever it may be, if you use the exact same material on your floors and your walls, it will create the illusion of a bigger bathroom because there is no dead end as there usually would be.

We now have a pale grey sparkly floor and a grey matching door. This has definately made it look like we have more floor space that we actually do.

Furnish wisely

If you try and fit in large pieces of furniture into a small bathroom - it's obviously just going to look even smaller. So stick to the things that you really need and try not going overboard. That doesn't mean you can't add your quirkiness; you just need to prioritize. Remember that vanity units are great for storage, so the more you can get in there - the more space you will have on the outside.

The only thing using the floor space in our bathroom now, apart from the necessities is a corner washing basket that fits in perfect between the shower and the sink.

Add accessories

Accessories are a great way to add more to your bathroom without having to spend much. It can really improve a dull, compact space, by brightening it up and adding some personality. Even just going as far as adding a little plant in the corner, or on the windowsill will make a difference. A mini bonsai plant would be perfect.

The mirror trick

Many interior designers use this trick all the time because it really does work. Mirrors reflect light, which creates the impression of space. So when strategically placed, your room could actually end up looking double the size. If you have a window letting in natural light, put the mirror facing it so more light will be able to bounce off.

We have mirror in our vanity cabinet and also a huge one on the opposing wall, which really creates the illusion of more space.

Fit a sunken bath

We have a walk in shower only instead of a bath, but if you prefer a bathtub instead of a shower, think about how much space you could save if you install a sunken bath, let alone how fancy it would be. The same kind of thing goes for sinks too; you can find a variety of undermount sinks at Tap Warehouse that fit in with your cabinet or countertop, so you have a lot more room.

Think within the box

If you have a lot of products that you can't throw out, but very minimal space to use in the bathroom (and your budget is a very restricted one,) then go basic. Buy a box, and put everything in it. There are plenty of nice looking boxes out there on the market that are made out of wicker or wood, that look really pretty. So it's not as brutal as it sounds - but it's efficient enough for now.

Stack it up

If you're thinking of adding an open cabinet, instead of going wide - go high instead. This will save you a lot of floor space to move around in. As long as you can reach what you need, this is a great option, not only for your bathroom but for any area within your home.

Befriend the shelves

Shelves are a brilliant way to save space and also add to the atmosphere. If you want to be a little ‘out there’, then don't go for a neutral colour, choose a bright blue or orange instead. Invisible shelves do just what the name implies; they look as if they're floating on the wall, so this, paired with a pop of colour will look pretty damn cool.

Don't clutter it up

We all know that there is nothing pretty about clutter. It makes a room look messy and disorganised, and if you have a relatively small space to deal with - it's not going to help the situation. So don't leave out your makeup brushes, nail varnish or hair spray on top of the countertop - find a proper home for it all. Not only will this look a lot neater, but you will also avoid losing your favorite beauty blender.


*Collaborative Post

Why I'm Done With Online Dating

* This is a bit of a read

I never thought that online dating was for me.  I always wanted that chance meeting in a coffee shop, eyes meeting across the street; a friend that turned into the one you love.  That never happened for me and I decided what the hell?  Give online dating a whirl.

 

Tinder was never going to be for me,  The idea of swiping left or right (I never figured out which way was which) just on the basis of someone's face seemed superficial to me.  If you are looking for a partner, it has to be based on personality too.  This is a person you are, hopefully, going to spend the rest of your life with.  Tinder is for hook ups, nothing more.

My commitment to online dating was dubious at best so I chose a free dating site, Plenty of Fish.  I filled out my profile, was as honest as I could be and added the photos.  I decided in advance that the "Hi" messages were not going to get a reply. The people with the "fill out later" profiles were of no interest.

I have had more "Hi"s than I can count.  Some with more of a reply who were basically looking for a hook up.  Some who blatantly copied and pasted their auto first message.  I lost interest and only went on the site now and again.

I met my first online date after weeks of talking and finding more about each other.  He seemed like a nice guy and was really into me, which is always good.  I will call him T.  We lived over an hour away from each other but he was happy to come to me, which was a good sign.  We met in a local pub and within the first five minutes he was telling me that he had very severe anger issues and had been referred to a psychiatrist.  Great.

We messaged a few times after but I had no interest in meeting again.  I had no desire to have any kind of relationship with someone with anger issues.  The anger issues came out when I told him I could no longer commit to messaging him as my step dad had died.  He went ballistic.  Goodbye.

I went on the site less and less, dabbling occasionally on weekends but the messages I received were still the usual.  I went on a few more dates but there was a mutual no "click".  Then I got a message from, we will call him S.  S sent a great first message and his profile, actually filled out for a change was interesting.

We talked for around three weeks, first on the site and then moving to WhatsApp.  We had similar interests, a similar outlook on life and I really liked him.  We agreed to meet in Manchester which was a middling distance between us.

On the Saturday before our mid week date, I realised that there was something inaccurate on my profile; namely that when I created it, I was not smoking and now I am (yes  I know, bad Vicky).  I thought it was only fair that I let S know this in case he changed his mind about wanting to meet with me.

S was the kind of person who was texting me morning, noon and night, every day. If he didn't hear back from me after an hour, he would send another text to see what I was doing.  *Edit* on reading this paragraph after I typed it, I realised just how much of a red flag that is, and wonder how the hell I didn't think that at the time.

I did not hear back from him for the rest of the day, which was unusual for him but I figured maybe he wasn't into a smoker.

Just after midnight (when he starts his night shift) I got my first message.  Incensed that I had not told him previously, not believing that I did not know what my profile said as "he knew what was on his profile, every minute of the day!.  He demanded that I explained myself.

I responded, telling me I wouldn't be spoken to like that, especially after being honest.  I said that I no longer wished to meet and, not knowing how best to end the message, finished with "take care". Turns out that telling someone to take care is not the best idea.

From just after midnight to the time when I eventually blocked him completely at 3.30am, he proceeded to call me every variation of the whore that he could think of.  A "man like him would not be told to take care by a girl like me" apparently.

I don't know how many messages I received.  One probably every five minutes for a good three hours.  By the end, the combination of insults and thinly veiled (almost) threats, I was scared.  What I should have done is save the conversation, screenshot the worst of it and ring 101 the next day.  Hell, I could even have reported him to his employers considering that he was doing all of this on work time.

But I didn't think.  I was scared.  The level of rage directed at me was overwhelming and I will be honest,  I felt really scared for a few days.  Even though he knew what town I lived in but not my address, I found myself jumping at sounds outside when I let the dog outside.  He was a self professed "techie" and he knew I blogged.

Along with blocking him on WhatsApp and blocking him from POF, I also deleted my profile.  It is too easy to hide your true self on the internet.  I know that my personality is more exaggerated on the internet when I talk on Twitter or speak on my blog.  Because on here, I am unfiltered.  This goes the same for people who wish to hide their true selves.

I consider myself as having a lucky escape.  If I had not messaged him that day, I would have met up with him the following week.  If we had clicked,  I could have found out his true self when alone with him, heaven forbid at his place or somewhere on our own.

So I am done with online dating.  My match, my soul match if I ever find one will have to find me in pre internet ways.  I no longer trust the face on the internet.