How Social Media Killed Innocence

I have heard it said, and in most parts it is true, that adults forget what it is like to be young.  That society moves on, technology evolves and teenagers grow more worldly by the hour. It isn't the same as in "your generation".



But while the generations before us have worried about bullying, underage sex, teenage pregnancies, getting drunk in the park and "falling in with the wrong crowd", the obstacles that teenagers face today can be far more dangerous.



I would not want to be a teenager today, particularly a teenage girl, if you paid me.

Image from Pexels

Let's focus for the subject matter of this conversation on 15/16 year old girls.

When I was this age, I was the chubby girl in high school, known for having large breasts.  That was my label.  Cones, the boys called me.  My best friend was naturally very slender and she had her own nickname, which isn't mine to share.

There was bullying, as goes on in every school in one form or another.  In my case, there was also sexual harassment, passed off by teachers as "boys will be boys, they have hormones" and "buy a bigger shirt Kitty".  But that is another story.  

Bullying when I was 15 was limited to school grounds and waiting outside at the bus stop.  It was not being invited to parties and being excluded from conversations.    You were made to be an outsider.  But, the bullying stopped when you entered your home. When you were not in the presence of your bullies, you had some respite.



Mobile phones for the mass market did not come along until around 5/6 years after I left school (this makes me sound 190 years old I realise).   Social media only really started to become popular when Facebook appeared and started to gain significant followers.



I for one am wholly grateful that my teenage years was pre social media.  Because I do not think I would have survived it.  I truly don't.  Because if you are bullied or fall out of favour, it never stops and there is no escape.



There is a clear parallel between the rise and popularity of social media and the rise of teenage depression and suicide.



It is more than just a coincidence that rates of depression in teenagers aged 14-17 has increased by more than 60% according to an American study. 

Unsplash image

These days I am addicted to Twitter, checking the site and messages many times a day, having continued and ever increasing conversations with many people.  There are internet trolls of course and people who can target you on your views, but the block button is your friend and you can remove yourself from conversations which give you stress or cause anxiety.



I regularly have anxiety and the fact that I can sign out, have a break and come back refreshed is something that I do regularly, though not as much as I should.



You do not get to do that as a teenager.  You lead as much of your life online as you do offline.  Probably more.



Telling a teenager to remove themselves from social media when they are being bullied or excluded is ridiculous.  It would take a very, very strong person not to want to know what their fellow pupils are saying about them and talking about them behind their back.



If you removed yourself from the multiple social media sites, many of which I probably haven't even heard of would only cause more bullying.  More worrying about what people are saying about you; and planning.



That is before you even consider what porn has done to teenagers.  With porn accessible with merely a click on the internet, the expectations of boys on teenager girls (not all boys, yes I know) are horrendous.



When I was that age, your first experiences of sex was generally two people who didn't really know what they were doing, but generally having a damn good time experimenting.  The thrill of an hour kissing session.  That look the first time your boyfriend felt/saw your breasts.  The first time of sex.



Now, teenage boys have had years to watch internet porn and their expectations of porn star women are projected on to their female peers.  Hairless vaginas, porn style blow jobs, anal sex.  The presumption that this is the norm.



The expectations on teenage girls to do and perform these acts is massive and peer pressure ways heavily.



While the internet and social media has given us many things, it has also taken away more.  A respite from bullying.  Safe spaces. Normal experimentation and most importantly, innocence.

How to Surround Yourself With Positive Vibes

If you would like to make the most out of your femininity and improve your mood, your first task should be to find what works for your personality and your looks. No matter if you are curvy, funky, a hipster, or a tomboy, you can find what works for your style and your personality. Below you will find a few tips on how to surround yourself with positive vibes that your soul resonates with. 

Shopping for Unique Items
Fast fashion is for the masses. You need to work on finding things that suit you down to the ground and make you feel good about yourself. You can go on a shopping trip and go to boutiques that offer individual designer items. You might even visit charity or thrift stores where you can find your style and experiment with different materials and looks, until you develop your own personal appearance that will make you unique.

Creating Your Signature Style
Once you have found the items that you love and the ones that make you smile, you just have to find a way to combine them in a unique way. There are some amazing unusual combinations that you can try. A riding boot with jeans and a floral top might be your daytime look, while you can go all romantic and add some natural stones and crystals for the night. 

Your Signature Perfume 

Image via Flickr

If you haven’t tried perfumery yet, you might be missing out. Don’t just go for the name; find out what really makes you happy and what helps you connect with your soul. A perfume can give you confidence, help you express yourself better, and compliment your style. You might want to check out https://thehippiehouse.com.au/ for some unique creations that will connect you with the true purpose of your soul.

Your Bedroom

Positive vibes can also come from your environment. It is important that you surround yourself with things that make you feel safe and supported. Focus on your bedroom, as what you see before you go to sleep and when you wake up has a huge impact on your mood and your dreams. Look for unique items that will help you relax and put a smile on your face. A crowded and disorganised bedroom is likely to knock you out of balance.

Colours that Resonate with Your Soul 

Image via Wikimedia Commons

Colour therapy is less known than aromatherapy, but it is a great way of helping you stay balanced. Find out what the colour of your aura is, and the best way to support your mental and emotional health through all the right shades. Whatever you wear, the colour of your walls, and even your accessories will affect how you feel about yourself. Do your research and find what works best for you. 

If you would like to make the most out of your looks and how you feel about yourself, you will need to surround yourself with positive vibes. Pay attention to your interior decor, the colours and smells that surround you, and you can learn to connect with your soul.

Changing History for Inclusivity?

I am
not a gamer.  I think that the last game I played was Mortal
Kombat back in the 90s which mainly consisted of hitting a lot of
buttons with no idea what I was doing.  (Worked for me though, I
had a good success rate!)

The
guy I am dating is a gamer.  I was interested to see how games
have progressed over the years, in terms of graphics, how realistic, what they were like to play now etc etc.  My first introduction was the new Spiderman game and I
was amazed at how far games have come along.  You could actually learn your way around New York just by playing the game and the quality of the animation is as good as and in some cases better than film quality.

Then he showed me Battlefield V.   I wasn't sure a first
person shooter game was going to be something that interested me, but he showed me the advertisement video as a taster and I was shocked to see
that one of the first people I saw was a woman.  On the front
line, in a WW2 game.

Women
were not on the front line in WW2.

Photo Credit

The
Russians, I agree, had women in active duty, such as Lyudmila
Pavlichenko, the famous Soviet  sniper.  But were there
American and British women on the front lines of battle in hand to
hand combat against the Nazis?  No.  

Featuring
women on the promo posters and showing them predominantly in the game
for me, is an insult to both the men who actually served on the
front, but also, the women who contributed to the war effort, many
dying in the process.

Have
we reached a place where inclusivity prevails over historical
accuracy?

Now
in 2019 women can serve in any branch of the military as a man. 
 If you can pass the same physical tests that men undergo, there
is no reason to stop a woman who wishes to serve her country and be
at the front line of battle.  Women are already doing this now
and have died doing so.

But
in WW2 this was not on the case.  Not in battle.  This is
where EA DICE have fundamentally screwed up.  Including women in
this game is completely historically incorrect and to me, is so
wrong.

While
women were not subject to the draft and were not called to the front,
women did contribute to the war effort, some sacrificing their lives
in the process.  They worked in munition factories.  They
drove ambulances.  Ferried planes.  Nurses joined the war
effort in their thousands, stationed close to the front and helping
wounded soldiers.  Some died in the process.

Women
were recruited for and joined the resistance, became spies and
operatives; risking their lives to share information and derail the
Nazis.  They fought.  They shot and just like the men who
they fought along side, some were captured, tortured and died.  

Women
like Irena Sendler, a Polish social worker who saved over 2500 Jewish
children from the Nazis in Warsaw.  She was captured, tortured
to the extent that her legs and feet were broken, yet she refused to
provide information.

American
Virginia Hall, called "the most dangerous of the Allied spies"
by the Nazis.  Despite only having one leg, she helped to train
the French resistance and caused chaos for the Nazis with cutting
supply lines and gathering vital information, all the while being
hunted by the SS/

New
Zealander Nancy Wake aka "the white mouse" as she was
called by the Germans who on occasion, killed Nazis with her bare
hands.

Violette
Szabo, who worked as a British operative and resistance fighter and
fought against the Nazis.  She was ultimately captured and
despite several escape attempts from the concentration camp, was
ultimately executed.  She was the second woman to ever be
awarded posthumously the George Cross. 

There
are so many more.

My
point?   EA DICE did not need to pander to inclusivity by
including women in the game, featured in places where they did not
fight.  Because although not at the front lines, women served
their countries in many ways, dying in the process.

You
want to include women in WW2 in a game?  Make a game about the
resistance, about spies in WW2, where women served alongside men. 
Don't just include them in a game to appease gender equality. 
Women played their own, active and vital part too.

Celebrate that.  Don't put women where they were not and do not insult in the process the war heroes who fought on the front lines and died for our country.  Both men and women deserve better than this.