We Will Not Be Silenced

The Karen meme has been around for a few years now and I think that most understand the description.



What we understand to be a Karen is typically a white woman with an large attitude problem combined with an over subscribed entitlement who is the bogey man of customer service representatives, stores and restaurants.  She can elicit fear in someone a hundred paces away.

I do not have a Karen in my life, but have seen the type and the aftermath that they can create.  I have even given a poor coffee shop worker a hug after they experienced what I can only describe as a tsunami of rage, over a drink not being hot enough (after I add that she had been sitting with the thing, not drinking it for 20 minutes).

They exist and they walk among us.

Karen videos, memes and shared experiences of Karens are all over the internet, but lately, in the past few months,  the use of the word Karen and the meaning behind it has changed and been extended, by some, to encompass any woman who dares to have a voice or an opinion.

There is a veiled threat now, be "nice" or be a Karen.



The meme has grown to such an extent that the context in which it is used has metamorphosed into an element of control.



Express an opinion, OK Karen.  Disagree with a point, OK Karen.  Raise an issue, OK Karen.  Stick up for yourself, OK Karen.  It is being used to silence.  To dismiss, demean and shut down.  Case in point:

As you can see above, even someone who you would think had a moderate degree of intelligence as both a doctor and PHD thinks that it is acceptable to (try) shut down a woman in this way.  That intelligence disappears into misogyny when faced with an intelligent woman with a counter argument it seems.



This where the need by some to control women comes out and they show you who they really are.  I know many intelligent men who are not intimated or incensed by a woman with an opinion.  They want an intelligent discussion, not a mindless doll.



While I usually see men using the term, the woke women have been known to use it too.  That saddens me even more.



How do you respond to the slur then?  Any attempt to fight your corner would be labelled as argumentative, too confident, too self important.  To those using that term against us, they would take anything other than immediate submission as proof of our "Kareness".



In the same way as OK Boomer is being used  as a tool to waive away anything that the older generation says as irrelevant and outdated nonsense, OK Karen is now being used as an attempt to silence our voices and ridicule our thoughts and opinions.



Heaven forbid that a woman has an opinion.



Well this woman is not shutting up.  You can call me Karen if you think it will silence me, but it will not.  Any more than it will shut up women like J K Rowling.



I have news for you, the more you try to silence us, the louder we will shout.

Why The Only Box I Will Tick is Woman

I previously wrote a post about why I decided to become label free in my life.

Removing the labels that I, and others, had placed on me was a very freeing experience and allowed me to look at, review and analyse every piece of information that I came across without the restraints and expectations that so many of my previous labels had placed on me. 

There is one label, not a label really but a description that I will not remove.  I am a woman.  That will never change and I will defend that word and the correct usage of it as long as I have breath in my body.

We cannot change our biology and we have no need to do so.  A controversial opinion, for some, in today's ever changing climes.

The word woman describes our biology, but does not define what kind of woman we are.  This does not change no matter what our sexual attraction is, what our personality traits are or how we choose to outwardly represent ourselves to the world.

The so called traits of being a woman are based on what society perceives and has placed on what a woman can be.   But we can be anything we choose to be.  Except the opposite sex.  Because there truly is no need.

So much of my personality and who I am fits into what the word woman has come to mean.  I wear dresses pretty much exclusively.  I am shaped in what is described as a womanly shape.  I enjoy makeup.  I am shy.  Parts of me could be described as submissive (that one was hard for my previous feminist self to admit).  I demur when I shouldn't.

Those traits are all ones that transwomen emulate and outwardly portray as evidence that they are women.

Yet, I also have what society deems as traits belonging to a man.

I love motor racing.  I am not afraid to say what I think or share my opinions.  I am confident and can be forthright.  I will not back down when I believe I am right.  I can be assertive.  I see what I want and go for it.

I also am not motherly (apart from adoring my furry puppa), nor have I ever wanted children.

Today, that would probably be described as being non binary.  I am not non binary.  I am a woman. 

When you accept the sum of your parts, there is no need to define yourself as anything else.   Our biology is our physical parts and make up.  It does not define who we are and it never should.  Only woman can bear a child.  Only women can menstruate.  

Gender is a social construct.  

When you remove the constraints and constrictions that society places on you, you can truly be free to be who you are.  

That ultimately is where the transgender argument falls flat and becomes irrelevant.  Because being a woman or a man is not a feeling.  It is not a personality trait or a behaviour.  It is biology.

In a world where it is ever more important to put labels on yourself and place yourself into a box, the most important thing you can do is accept you are and embrace it.  You are a woman, or a man.  To claim otherwise ultimately is delusion and can only lead to unhappiness and denial.  Neither is healthy.

5 Summer Fashion Trends

Image Credit 

As far as summers go, this has been one of the weirdest as a result of the global pandemic. At some point, it began to feel a lot like summer had been cancelled. But thankfully, this time of year is still a glimmer of hope in the cold and dreary situation the whole world is facing now. 

Though the last thing on some people's minds right now is 'what's in' and 'what's not', it's a welcome distraction to get on board with what's trending this summer. Out of all the seasons, this one gives people the chance to be as expressive as can be. So, whether you've compiled your own summer wishlist, or you're simply looking for inspiration, here are 5 summer fashion trends we simply can't get enough of. 

1. Ugly sandals

We never thought we'd see the day where something with the 'ugly' in front of it would become a fashion trend. But here we are, and we're loving it. It follows in the footsteps of several other 'ugly' trends such as chunky dad sneakers and mom jeans. Now, though these sandals aren't actually ugly or an eyesore, the fact that they are not dainty or delicate makes them stand out. 

They come in a more athletic and chunky design than most options you'll find out there. Then there's the added touch of adornments on the straps that are nothing if not playful. 

Since it's official unveiling at the 2018 Prada Spring show, these sandals have become a hit once again. The great thing about them is their newfound versatility. Throw them on with a pair of jeans, a maxi dress, or even a nice skater dress. The possibilities are endless. If you don’t consider yourself the type to often jump on fashion trends, this is one bandwagon you should definitely jump on. 

2. A stylish pair of frames

It's no secret that glasses have been in for a while now and that has definitely not changed this year. In fact, a pair of shades can do wonders to elevate your whole look. What makes it even better is the fact that there's a big selection to draw from depending on the look you're actually going for. 

It ranges from transparent glasses all the way to the ever so popular aviation glasses. Summer is just that time to break out the glasses. The great part about this trend is that it's quite functional too. It's no secret that harmful UV rays can wreak havoc on the eyes when the exposure is too much. So, this fashion trend may very well be beneficial to your eyesight. It doesn't hurt that it makes you look good too. 

3. Denim head-to-toe

This is not your run of the mill old school denim on denim, there are so many ways to make this work. That washed out and distressed look is actually really in right now. Sure, it sounds like you’ll practically be punishing the jeans, but the end result is just what summer is all about. 

You can try out this look by pairing a denim jacket with shorts, or full-length jeans. A nice, neutral button-up shirt inside adds a little bit of oomph. There's also the option of going full-on denim, which is still as flattering. Altogether, this is one summer fashion trend you should not miss out on. 

4. Crotchet dresses

Crotchet dresses are another fashion trend that is now viewed in a whole new light. Cast your mind away from that nerdy-looking outfits your gran would send over at Christmas. No, the sex appeal here has been cranked up a couple of notches. Their airy and somewhat transparent nature makes them the perfect pairing for a summer day out. 

Whether it comes in the form of a nice crop top, a mini or maxi dress, this is one get up that looks effortlessly chic. Even more, you can opt for nice crochet accessories ranging from hats to jewelry. It's all together, fresh and incredibly appealing once you see what's on the market. 

5. Spaghetti strap tank top

Something as effortless, comfortable, and good looking as this should always be on style. Luckily, it's in style now and it goes perfectly with just about anything. If there is one thing about summer fashion that stands out, it's the sheer effortlessness. A simple tank top can pair perfectly with anything from jeans to a skirt and even a pair of shorts. If you haven't grabbed one yet, summer is still upon us, it's not too late.