Gone In a Puff of Smoke

Everything has its own time.  That is something I truly believe.

I am never one to be pushed into anything and for me to make a big change in my life, the planets usually have to align perfectly with a touch of magic in the air, or the change will not stick.  When I make that jump though, the right jump, I never look back.

The last time I did this, I completed changed the person that I am.  I went from a very shy, under confident girl who never voiced her own opinion and wore black 24/7 to the person I am today.  Still shy, but unafraid to say what I think, a wardrobe full of colour and a smile on my face.

The very first photograph of me after ditching my all black wardrobe

A few weeks ago I wrote about why I never make New Years Resolutions. Mostly because I do not like to be forced into anything, even by myself.  Changes in my life have to be organic.

So, on the 7th January, the planets aligned and I decided that this was the day I was going to stop smoking.  There were a number of factors that made my decision for me.  The fact that my 40th birthday is looming and I was determined not to be a smoker by then.  The cost.  That I was the remaining smoker in my friend group.  My health.

Today, 23 days later and I have not smoked a cigarette since.  The first week was not easy.  I decided to stop smoking using the cold turkey method as I did not want to use aids or patches and draw out the process.  This works for me, I know using patches etc works brilliantly for others.

Something has changed in me this time though.  An internal flick of a switch.  I know that I won't start smoking again.  A certainty that I can feel.  I cannot explain it.

I have stopped smoking before, for 2 years in fact and started again due to stress.   I then stopped last year for a month, only to be lured back in again after a night out.  Each time I stopped, I knew that I was not done with cigarettes.  This time, I think that the end has come.

I will keep you posted!

Want to check out some more blogs?  Check out Chilling with Lucas which is a fantastic family blog.

Steps to Take to Stop Unnecessary Buying

Are you the kind of person who discovers when you get home that you’ve managed to buy another leopard print dress that is almost identical to the two you have in your wardrobe? 

If you’ve noticed that somewhere between leaving the tills and taking everything out of your bag that the buzz of purchasing new things has gone, it might be time to start reassessing your spending. Here are some ways to manage your money and start thinking carefully about saving up.

Know What you Have

Take some time to assess your current finances. Work out your incomings and outgoings and look at what you’ve been doing with your disposable income. Look through the things you have already, from the gadgets in your kitchen to the shoes in the hall and note what’s there so you don’t start buying duplicates.

If something unexpected cropped up when you look through your statements from the last six months, alter your spending habits to account for similar sudden expenses in the future. For example, any home repairs or a car breakdown that you had to pay out for.

Once you know what you’re buying, you can start thinking of how you can plan your spending. Is there any way you can forego the morning coffee or the sales at your favourite brand in order to save some money? Making some small amends to how you spend your salary can go a long way to helping you save up.

Buy Things that Last

Do you need to get the latest phone or tablet, or can you hold on to what you have for now? If you’re someone who upgrades your tech as each new version is released, it might be worth investing in gadgets that are built to last a while in order to save money.

Similarly, if you have a dress that you love too much to wear or a car that you daren’t drive, you’re losing money in the long run. This is because you’re more likely to buy a cheaper version of the dress only to throw it away or pay for public transport to save making your car messy. Invest in something that’s high-quality that you’ll use again and again.

Avoid Temptation

If you’re a sucker for a sale or you fill up your lunch breaks by scrolling through promotional emails it might be time to make some changes. Start by unsubscribing to the sites that you know you’ll be most tempted by and try to avoid big events such as the January sales or Black Friday.

Unless you’re a savvy shopper, the bargains you think you’re getting won’t add up if you’re buying things you want rather than things you need. That’s not to say you can’t treat yourself every now and then but get the practical purchases out of the way first. 

Looking for more ways to save money?  Check out SavvyInSomerset for more money saving tips!

Why I Refuse To Make A New Years Resolution

I don't believe in making resolutions at New Year.  I don't see the point.  Change, if it is something that you really want, comes in its own time and at the right moment.  It cannot be forced.   

What I am doing this year and what I think we all should do, is look back over the past year and look at the positives in it.  Look at the happy moments, look at the things that you have learnt throughout the year, be it about yourself, about others or more about what interests you.

I don't see the point in putting pressure on yourself to lose weight, change your personality, change your love life status, change who you are.  Change, if you wish change at all, has to be organic, natural and must come from the heart.  That is where happiness starts.

What is the point is ending a year telling yourself that you are not good enough?  That you need to change?  Work on yourself and change (if you want it) will happen.  You are always good enough.

There have been changes in me in the past year.  All have taken time, all have come organically through learning, self reflection and thought.  I know myself so much better at the end of this year than at the start of the last.  

These changes in my outlook, personality and life came slowly.   None were planned and as is so important in change, I only realised the difference in myself after the journey.

  

So looking back at the past year, have I changed?  Absolutely.  I have learned things, I have worked on my soul and my mental health.  I am happier.

This is my positivity list for this year.

• I swept away previous bad experiences with online dating and found the courage to try again, being wholly me this time (I had feminist in my description instead of just the usual "friendly, happy, sometimes funny" rubbish).

• I have (with the help of inspiration and motivation of a certain gentleman), embraced the body that I have.  I have explored my sexuality and become a more confident person because of that.

• I have had less and less anxiety and depression issues as the year has progressed because I have looked inward at the causes, the triggers and talked more when the episodes have happened; instead of hiding them away.

• I have debated and talked about my thoughts and stances with others and in some cases, changed what I thought as a result, through learning.  I have grown.  See my post on non platforming

• Though I will always support women, support causes and talk about change and effect for women, I no longer identify as a feminist.  Something I never thought I would say.  This is an ongoing change which may well be reversed in time.  But as it stands, conversation has to be open, not regulated and regimented.

• I am going back to my roots.  I am writing, slowly, more opinion pieces of what I really think.  It is what makes my happy, feeds my soul and helps me to collect my thoughts, my ideals and what I believe.

None of the above could been achieved with a New Year's resolution.  They came through learning, through reflection and through my heart.  

So instead this year, instead of vowing to join a gym, find a boyfriend or change your personality; celebrate you.  Celebrate your achievements, however small, throughout the year. All this "New Year, New You" rubbish is just that, rubbish.  It brings you down, not raises you up.

The most important journey of your life is to learn who you are.  Learn what makes you happy.  That is the best and most significant thing you will ever do.

xxx