Dear Fat People - My Thoughts

WORDY POST

TRIGGER WARNING -  Fat shaming quotes shared from Twitter  - taken during #fatshamingweek

A couple of days ago a video appeared in my Facebook timeline.  Yes "that video" by comedian (and I use that term loosely) Nicole Arbour.

It has taken me a few days to process my thoughts about this video.  In one way, you have to hand it to her.  She pitched the video to be controversial and prime click bait.  The fat haters watch to nod, agree and cheer, the fat people watch the video to see what hated looks like this week and then the media gets involved and it snowballs.  She then takes down her channel, claiming Youtube did it, then reactivates just when she knows that people will be searching for it.  She has a business head on her, pity that she does not have a heart.

The video itself is, to be honest, a bit sad, pathetic and more than a little jaded.  She rolls out the old tired insults that fat people are "lazy, disgusting, inconsiderate and they smell" (of sausages apparently).  Maybe ten years ago those words may have been fat shaming comedy gold but now, sweetheart, I have heard more creative insults from a random man on the street.

She ends by saying that she isn't saying these hateful things to be an asshole (too late on that one), she in fact loves us "no matter what" but that she hopes that her "bomb of truth" so that people can enjoy us for longer on this planet.  She says, whilst completely dehumanizing fat people and talking about us as if we are no more than things, there to ridicule and insult for your entertainment.

Aside from the fact (pretty obvious but here is a research link) that fat shaming does not work and in fact can backfire badly (now there is a truth bomb for you Nicole); I have to wonder why anyone would think it would?

Here are a few comments from #fatshamingweek on Twitter (wait, I thought that it did not exist?)

Quotes taken from Blisstree

I was myself targeted by trolls especially that week, telling me the fact that I was fat made me worthless.

We are told that if you are fat, it does matter if you have an education, that we have low standards, that "fat means yes" (more than a little rapey) and that we should kill ourselves if dieting fails.

That is the thing though, fat shaming does not work, it dehumanizes people, it strikes a knife into their heart, causes depression far more than fat on your body ever could and can sometimes kill.

This video does not hold any power over me.  I have, as I have said, heard much, much worse and the blatant "subscribe, subscribe" comes across as needy and pathetic.  When I first saw it yes I was incensed with anger and hurt, but not from her words.  It was the fact that people who knew me thought it appropriate to share. 

Let us be clear, that video is not "satire" as many people like to label cruel things to justify themselves, it is not funny and is abhorrent.  What does hurt, is that people think it appropriate to share as if it was nothing.  Would you say these things to my face?  Would you label me a "thing" and disgusting and lazy?  Would you to my face dehumanize me to the point where I am simply a creature to be taunted?  Would you stand there, point and laugh at me.  No.  

The age of the internet allows us to share our thoughts and opinions in a way that we never could before, as I frequently do on here.  It also gave rise to the age of the troll and a place where one stupid video can give rise to yet another torrent of hatred; and that is dangerous.

So before you share a video or an article, think about what you are actually sharing and what sharing it actually makes you as a person.  I will give you a hint, it isn't a good one.

I will leave you with my current favourite, meme.  To all those who create these videos, think these thoughts and put them out in the world, ready to hurt:

Plus Size Bras

As someone who has had the need of a bra since the age of twelve, I am well aware of the trials and tribulations that you can go through when purchasing a bra.  

What I increasing found as my bra size went up over the years was the increasing lack of options that were available to me.  Pretty colours and patterns became less and less available with only the boring options of black, white and nude (if you were lucky) on display; the look of which was less based on style and more like your grandmother would wear.

As for a fitted bikini top or a sports bra in a larger size, don't even think about it!

If I wear to go on the highstreet to find a pretty bra in my size today, I would still be hard pressed to find what I wanted but happily, online is now a different story.  There are many websites which store the larger sizes of bras, sports bra and swimwear and I am happy to discover that colour, style and print are back!

Here are some of my favourites, with some of the ranges sizing up to a 46J.

1.  Elomi Swim Kissimmee Bikini Top up to 44HH  £42.00

2.  Underwired Moulded Sports Bra from Freya Bras up to 40H £38.00

3.  Pansy Print Balconette Bra from +Yours Clothing up to 46E £16.00

4.  Sculptress Green Sequin Bra from Evans up to 46J £39.00 

5.  Berry Red Pleated Bra from Evans up to 48F

Which one would you buy?  Personally I would have all of them!

Boots for Autumn

Curvissa recently contacted me and asked if I would like to try out some boots from their Autumn collection, along with another four bloggers.

My thoughts have been turning to Autumn and Winter a lot lately as the weather here has not exactly been all sunshine and blue skies.  So I jumped at the chance to try out some new boots and decided to go for the Extra Wide Fitting Boots * 

The boots come as an EE foot size fitting and are available in either an XL or XXL fitting.  I went with the latter as I wanted to be able to wear them under jeans. The boots come in either black, dark brown or cognac and have an 1 1/2 inch heel.  Happily, there is also a really good grip on the sole and the heel (Is it just me that wonders why so many companies put a good grip on the sole and usually forget the heel?)

I decided to show you two different outfits, one casual for a walk in the park and the other with my usual attire of a dress; and because I could not resist pairing the dark brown leather with burnt orange of the dress.

The leather is lovely and soft and after wearing for a full day out I can attest that they do not even need breaking in.  Practically unheard of in my shoe collection!

I would give them a five star rating as they are comfortable, style and will be a great staple in my wardrobe.

Curvissa have been nominated at the British Plus Size Awards for the best footwear retailer.  They would love your support so why not hop on over to the website and give them a vote.

In the meantime, please take a moment to check out the other fantastic bloggers involved in this five way challenge.

Nikki

Hollie

Katie

Emma

Fun in Blackpool

(Picture heavy post)

Last weekend I went away with my mum for a couple of days.  We both needed some fun time away so decided to have a mother/daughter weekend filled with good things.

I always say that my mum and I could laugh and have a good time wherever we happen to be and that was certainly challenged when we arrived at our hotel to find that it was a country and western themed weekend.  Both of versions of hell!  Typical of us however we managed to have a laugh, whilst being completely mystified by the stony faces of the line dancers.  I thought dancing was supposed to be fun!

Anyhow, we had some fun things planned, the first of which was a trip to the +The Blackpool Tower ballroom.  Here was my outfit, planned with a little vintage edge.  The dress is from Simplybe from last year and the shoes are from Joe Browns.  The bag is a charity shop bargain from Barnardos.

Here are some pictures that I took at the Tower Ballroom, including the delicious afternoon tea for two which was exquisite.  I highly recommend a visit, I paid £37.00 for two which included a table for two around the edge of the dance floor.

Me and my beautiful mum

Four types of sandwiches, scones, clotted cream, strawberry jam and cakes 

(plus a cheeky glass of wine)

A quick photo I managed to get of the stage between dances

Now at this point my post goes slightly awry as I had some lovely photographs of my outfit later that night at Cats with some pictures of the amazing stage but unfortunately, my SD card decided to eat them.  So I have recreated my outfit for you here.

My dress* is from the Scarlett and Jo collection at the House of Fraser and is currently on sale for an amazing £20.00.  Although I usually size down for Scarlett & Jo dresses, I went for my usual size in this one as the dress is lined.

I love the ribbon tie detailing and the textured print of the prom dress.  The length, although isn't shown on the website, I would guess at around 42 inches as it lands just below my knees and I am 5ft5.

I felt like a princess wearing this dress and recreating the outfit, I still do!

So that was my weekend, hope you enjoyed yours! x